tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23884119082982472862024-03-14T04:01:27.249-07:00One Plus OneErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.comBlogger121125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-18031740638425352962017-02-13T08:43:00.003-08:002017-02-13T08:48:10.109-08:00Ignorance is BlissFacebook is my life.<br />
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When I say that out loud it sounds childish.<br />
It sounds teen-angsty.<br />
It sounds like I live for friend-counts and post-likes.<br />
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But no. What I mean is that Facebook is how I have come to deal with/stay in touch with/hide from/sort out many areas of my life.<br />
I have a very small circle of people that I see outside of the digital world. I would love to see more people but everyone either has children or lives too far away. Every has their own schedules. Toby has never been the type of child to travel well or be ok jumping from place to place day after day. So I only regularly see a group of friends that I can count on one hand, and two of them I live with.<br />
Facebook has always been my social escape. I can 'visit' with people I miss. I see photos of their kids and their trips. I post my own photos and quotes for a small sense of being liked and a part of something. My photo albums serve as a memory bank and a backup of the best photos I have in case my computer craps out before I've done a file transfer (which has happened before. Which is why I can't bring myself to delete out-of-date albums). The Facebook memories algorithm fills me with beloved nostalgia as it daily reminds me of the funny things Toby once said, or the conversations I've had.<br />
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Facebook is my life in the sense that I don't feel like I have much of a social life without it. It's like going to a friend's house and seeing another few friends you know are already there and you sit around swapping funny cat videos and embarrassing photos.<br />
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But Facebook has changed.<br />
It happened slowly over the last year. The political memes changed from Obama's goofy smirk to over-zealous debaters. The comedy monologues changed from poking fun at fast food restaurants and news media, to calling out the idiocy of the new presidential campaign.<br />
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It didn't bother me at the time. I like to be informed. I like reading the summaries and watching the highlights and researching the truths.<br />
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And besides, it was all a big show. There was no way that Trump would possibly be elected president.<br />
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But then he was.<br />
And that had to be accepted.<br />
And there were marches to show that humans value human rights.<br />
And there were protests to say that families shouldn't be kept apart based on citizenship records.<br />
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And that was fine too. I was happy that the world was standing up for itself, albeit it shouldn't have been necessary in this era of freedom.<br />
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But then the doubt started creeping on to my Facebook feed. The doubt that marching and protesting were the right things to do. The doubt that things would have been any better with a different President. <br />
And then the anger started creeping in on top of that. Anger at the people who were 'needlessly' speaking up, and anger at those who questioned the protests and stayed silent. Anger towards the people who voted, and towards the people who didn't vote.<br />
And then criticism of the leaders of other countries who either agreed or disagreed with what has been happening. And criticism of religious groups for either speaking out or not. Neither was the right answer.<br />
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I like to think that I've dulled my emotional senses over the years (and by "like to think" I don't mean I really like it or am particularly proud of it). I have tried hard to no be an emotional train wreck over small things. I try to tell myself that these things are beyond my control.<br />
But the funny thing about anxiety is that it has a mind of it's own. You think you have it turned off and then from out of nowhere it pops it's head back out again.<br />
<br />
I can make a dozen trouble-free trips to Toronto, but then next time we want to go I feel very strongly that walking casually anywhere is a recipe for getting shot.<br />
I can drive highway 400 over and over, but then there's that one time where I am convinced that the tire on the freight truck directly in front of me is going to blow and send the rest of us into oblivion, but I'm blocked and can't get to an off ramp.<br />
I can accept that Anthony has successfully driven through more bad weather situations than I can count, but there will be that one day that being 15 minutes late means he's definitely DEFINITELY dead this time.<br />
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I felt the signs of anxiety a few weeks ago with no explanation. My heart would suddenly go in to over drive when I was sitting in a chair. My head would spin and become frantic when simply washing dishes. I would take deep breaths and drinks of water and find a corner to curl up with my phone and try to turn whatever was wrong with me off.<br />
It took 4 days to realize that my heart rate spiked after being on Facebook.<br />
Aimlessly scrolling, not even reading articles.... but the anticipation of 'What did Trump do today?'...or subconsciously realizing that people's comments were making me upset.<br />
<br />
My sister has participated in several media detoxes. A full media detox involved no phone apps (phone calls ok, texting allowable, but avoidable), no computer games, no tv, no movies. Email only if it was needed for work.<br />
A later social media detox was less strict, but still difficult. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram, no Tumblr, email only for work, movies allowed.<br />
I always said she was nuts and I could never do that even though I knew I probably should. Facebook is my life. I can't cut myself off like that.<br />
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And so I was surprised by the speed with which I deleted the Facebook app from my phone.<br />
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I was surprised that I was not even tempted to check anything for several days. <br />
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Facebook is not my cozy home anymore. I miss it but it has changed. I will still share my Instagram posts on Facebook. I still have the messenger app so I can text with Facebook friends. I may occasionally check my notifications. I may occasionally post a batch of photos. I may some day come back. Today I tried, just for work. I had to look up a toy company of ours on Facebook and then scrolled through a few photos. I found a very sweet supportive message posted at the time of the Women's March, and the comments were nothing but anger and disappointment and several people declaring that they would never buy their clearly heathen pro-abortion femi-nazi products ever again.<br />
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I don't like feeling helpless and sad all the time. I have comments to make and opinions to post, but I fear the lash back. I'm tired of scrolling through Facebook as though it's a game of Russian Roulette. I'm tired of my body feeling the need to be on high alert all the time. I'm tired of the deepening pit in my stomach that is akin to accidentally seeing posts of your ex with someone else. <br />
I've started calling this feeling the 'Bee Hive' instead of 'Butterflies'. A bee hive looks zen and calm and even has a soothing hum, but if you look close it's writhing and squirming and flitting and never sitting still. It's ready to explode in rage and defense if poked the wrong way.<br />
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I can't keep doing this to myself. <br />
I won't.<br />
So until I find a way to shove my unpredictable Bee Hive in a box, or until things die down, I will be remaining blissfully ignorant for a while.<br />
You can still tag me or message me, but don't be offended if I don't respond for a while.<br />
<br />
And now I'm going to turn the computer off and have a cup of tea.<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-28076711606603071502017-01-05T14:25:00.002-08:002017-04-03T14:10:11.411-07:0020162016.<br />
<br />
The year all the celebrities died and Donald Trump was elected President.<br />
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2016 was a year I was glad to see go. It was a year full of stress and grudges and breakdowns.<br />
Every year I write a Christmas letter that gets sent to a few friends and family, and I sometimes find it hard to bridge the gap between honesty and good impressions.<br />
If you read our Christmas letter you will see that the store is doing well, Anthony is done school, I made a ton of costumes, we took a few trips and Toby continues to enjoy homeschooling.<br />
If you look at my Facebook over the last year you will see beach trips and birthdays and smiles.<br />
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But Facebook and Christmas letters only give you a split second out of a bigger reality.<br />
<br />
This photo, for example, wasn't taken because we were having a great time outside. it was taken because Toby hadn't set foot outside in months because of his anxiety of how bulky his outdoor clothes feel, and wonder of wonders one day he decided we'd try the new coat. This was documenting that we made it outside but it was amid complaints and whining, which consumed my winter.<br />
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In February I started seeing a councillor for my still un-officially-diagnosed depression. I was hoping to find an 'in' somewhere so I could bring Toby with me to begin the process of trying to get him assessed for Aspergers and SPD. Instead I spent months going by myself and venting about the violent dreams/daydreams I was having towards family members and how miserable I was as a parent.<br />
This photo was taken on a miserable day for both Toby and I, where I somehow convinced him to come outside with me, and we just sat on the bridge doing nothing for a long time.<br />
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This video that Shannon and I made was filmed on Mother's Day. Two days prior to that Anthony and I nearly ended our relationship and at this point we were still discussing the logistics of him moving out.<br />
This video took my mind off of it for a few hours.<br />
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This was a summer project that made me almost want to quit the theatre industry.<br />
This prop making project was rewarding, but being asked to do several other jobs beyond my expertise on top of this made for some very late, very teary nights.<br />
This particular night involved an exploding champagne bottle, an emergency cleaning of my kitchen, a complete mental breakdown, and needing to be bailed out by friends and family.<br />
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Yes, 2016 was a year that I would like to put behind me.<br />
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But on December 31st at 9:25 pm I heard uncontrollable sobbing coming from Toby's room.<br />
I went in and asked what was wrong and got a muffled scream of "I don't WANT it to be 2017! I want it to stay 2016 forever!"<br />
My first reaction was to come back with how awful 2016 was, but quickly caught myself.<br />
I wanted to say how silly that was, but caught myself again.<br />
In Toby's world, none of the news media or my personal problems existed.<br />
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In Toby's world this was a year where:<br />
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He got to go to the Aquarium and finally see the sea turtle. It didn't matter that Anthony and I were dancing around each other the whole time, unsure of whether our relationship existed or not.<br />
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He got a new bike. It didn't matter that it was at the end of a very stressful week of sewing for me.<br />
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We spent more days at the beach this summer than usual. It didn't matter that I was often sick or tired when we went.<br />
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We got to see Joseph twice. It didn't matter that the previous 6 months had been a nightmare of costume deadlines and ignoring Toby because of this very thing.<br />
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We visited Stratford, Toronto, and Sudbury.<br />
We had Birthdays.<br />
We had just come to the end of a week of Christmases, food, and friends.<br />
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And so how could I just tell Toby, who has always had a hard time with transitions, that this year was finally due to be gone.<br />
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I rubbed his back and told him that we didn't have to call it 2017, we could call it 2016.1.<br />
I told him that it was just like a Minecraft update, you get some fixes and surprises, but the previous edition doesn't change.<br />
I asked him if he felt any different when he turned 8, and that this is the same - it's just another day.<br />
I asked him what his favourite parts of 2016 were.<br />
Even though he didn't want to answer me I asked what he was looking forward to about 2017.<br />
I told him I was most looking forward to the spring thaw so then the squirrels would finally move out of the attic. He laughed at that and we talked about some Lego sets he was looking forward to seeing the release of.<br />
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2017 is going to be a year of just taking an extra breath.<br />
I want to pay more attention to myself.<br />
I don't want to be afraid to say no to people.<br />
I want to minimize the chaos on my house, both visually and emotionally.<br />
I want to assert my needs more than I've been accustomed to.<br />
I want to re-build.<br />
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I hope everyone has a good 2017.<br />
Take too many pictures.<br />
Have too much fun.<br />
And take time for one extra breath.<br />
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<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-10969691186258537572016-06-25T05:50:00.004-07:002016-06-25T05:50:43.609-07:00'Smart' PhoneAbout a week ago I gave in to something I've been steadfastly holding out on for years.<br />
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I got a smart phone.<br />
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Up until now my phone had the ability to ring, to text, and to take crappy photos. I had no internet access or games or fancy reverse camera.<br />
I held out so long because I knew that as a computer/Facebook addict, I would become attached. I didn't want to be that person who was always glued to my phone.<br />
I liked only charging my phone once a week.<br />
I liked not paying out my nose for usage.<br />
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However...<br />
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The last year I have found it difficult to maintain social media accounts for work and find out simple things like a store's hours when on the move (first world problems, I know, I know).<br />
So I finally broke down. I did my research. I picked a plan. I bit the bullet. I got a new phone.<br />
<br />
The first evening with my phone was spent setting up account access and downloading 'essential' apps (hello, instagram!).<br />
So far so good, the only reason I'm spending so much time on it is because of set up...<br />
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Day two: I went to work, uploaded to instagram, turned off data, logged into Facebook on the computer, checked my phone for texts, went back to the computer, attempted to get my phone to connect to the WiFi at work, failed, went back to the computer, turned data on again to see how my phone would receive updates, ate lunch, etc.<br />
Got home and downloaded the game 2048. Lost half an hour of time.<br />
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Day three: Got up. Checked phone. Sifted through email alerts. Instagramed Toby playing with Lego. Scrolled through Facebook. Lost track of time. Plugged in phone out of reach. Attempted to carry on with day. Mildly successful.<br />
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Day four: Resisted posting anything to instagram all day so I didn't become one of 'those' people. Caved and posted a picture of my dinner. Later downloaded the game 4 pics 1 word. Lost half an hour of time.<br />
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Day five: Now can't leave to do anything without phone in my hand. Forced to charge very dead battery, but continue to check for updates while it's plugged in. Play 2048. Remember I'm supposed to be doing dishes. Take half charged phone outside instead and take photos of cats.<br />
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It's now been about 10 days since my purchase and though I don't regret the change over, my reservations have been confirmed: I'm an addict.<br />
I look up things one at random moments just because I CAN.<br />
I have to very consciously hold back from instagraming literally everything.<br />
I have to set time limits for games because I will forget to sleep.<br />
I am currently writing this blog on my phone because I can lie in bed while doing so.<br />
I have to really fight myself to not be glued to it when I'm with Toby, o r to not leap up and find it with every little ping and buzz that happens.<br /><br />I realize that the term 'Smart Phone' is referring to how 'clever' your little hand held device is, but are they really making US smarter?<br />Sure, we sound smart because we have Google at our fingertips, but I think that being reliant on a little flashing and beeping metal box just to get through our days doesn't bode well for actual 'smarts'.<br /><br />Now if you'll excuse me, I just received a facebook alert from a page I never really check, but i'm going to check it anyway (because I CAN) and then I need to spend the next 25 minutes scrolling aimlessly through nothingness...<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-28932340807769297062016-01-07T13:07:00.001-08:002016-01-07T13:07:44.676-08:00Baby BluesDoesn't 'Baby Blues' seem like a fluffy name for something that doesn't feel nice and fluffy?<br />
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It sounds like<i>: "Oh, just getting through some Baby Blues", she says with an eye roll and a smile on her face.</i><br />
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It's anything but<i> </i>an eye roll and a smile. It's messy. It's ugly. It's dark. It's hard.<br />
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And even moms who've been there can sometimes forget all-to-soon.<br />
You push yourself to move on and be happy, and sooner or later you trick yourself in to believing it. You then comfort your new-mom friends saying that 'it will pass' and 'just keep a close support network' and 'call me anytime'.<br />
While these are all meant-well sentiments, we forget what it feels like to BE that person.<br />
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When depression sets in you don't even see the possibility of 'it will pass'.<br />
There is no 'better day tomorrow'.<br />
Each second your baby screams at 2am feels like an eternity. Each excruciating mis-latch or duct-clog is the end of your world.<br />
You feel guilty wanting to call the call-me-anytime-friend at 3am, not wanting to burden anyone else with your misery. Your 'close support network' all have lives of their own and you know you can't ask them to sit with you 24/7 just to talk with words that aren't one syllable in length, and just so you're not alone in the symphony of screeches. You get invited out to meals, but don't really enjoy it because you know you have to go home eventually.<br />
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Some people make it through by saying things like "It's all worth it just for that smile" or "the love in their eyes is enough to pull me along". And those people get better. And that's wonderful.<br />
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But there are some, like myself, who are hit so hard that we can't even love them back.<br />
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It took me a long time to be able to look baby-Toby in the face and say I Love You.<br />
Even then it sounded weird and I wasn't sure if I meant it. Reading the book The Second Nine Months by Vicki Glembocki helped me feel less alone since all other resources I had at the time told me that Bonding was GREAT, and that my loving mother-instinct would prevail!<br />
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I remember numbly holding screamy baby and just thinking 'I hate this...I hate you...' and then trying to push those feelings deep down inside because I felt so guilty for even thinking them. Constantly feeling guilty for being sad when so many others so desperately want babies or have lost babies.<br />
The guilt makes you put on a mask and file away your emotions just so you can get through the day.<br />
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When Toby was old enough to interact with me I began to have more fun, and smile, and even laugh at the things he would do or say. We'd go on backyard adventures, short day trips to a museum or park, and cook together in the kitchen. <br />
I felt human again. <br />
I was finally over my long bout of un-diagnosed post-partum depression.<br />
<br />
But then Toby got older again. And developed more of a personality.<br />
All the tantrums and quirks, that I was assured 'were a phase' by multiple people, just seemed to get worse.<br />
If you know us, you know we try very hard to have a mindful, loving, respectful atmosphere in our house. If you know Toby at all, you know that 'typical' discipline tactics don't work on him. Instead we talk and we compromise and we reason, and sometimes it takes a while, but it works.<br />
But somehow this intense anger and anxiety began to rise in him. Tantrums would erupt over the simplest of things and last for over an hour. Suddenly he can't put on socks because he's afraid they will fall down in his boots and the anticipation of that discomfort is enough to reduce him to a puddle on the floor and we now can't leave the house.<br />
Most recently, he is terrified of all bugs after walking in to a wasp nest over the summer, and now refuses to go outside at all, except for the short path from the door to the car. 'But there's no bugs in the winter!' I hear you all say.... yes, but going outside now would involve putting on snowpants... and boots... and mitts... and a heavy coat....the collar of which would touch his hat...<br />
I try to talk to him about the 'big feelings' he's having, and how to express himself properly, and that we have to at least TRY to do things before we give up. But bringing it up again and again pushes him further inside himself. If I talk about trying to not be afraid of bees, he will remember he is afraid of bees and continue to be afraid of bees. He was never afraid of the dark until he read a book about being afraid of the dark and he thought that the dark was now something he SHOULD be afraid of. So I try not to mention it. I try not to mention anything.<br />
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So once again I feel these familiar fireworks inside me. Explosions of emotion that I'm not allowed to express for fear of making everything worse. Intense guilt at the thought that me being depressed while pregnant somehow altered his physical make-up to make him this way now. Guilt stemming from the fact that I spent most of his first year of life crying instead of singing songs and laughing. Guilt over not trying harder to get out and socialize the both of us more so maybe our lives could be more 'normal' now.<br />
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I've been told I worry too much.<br />
I've been told I'm over-sensitive.<br />
I've been told that pain makes you stronger and tougher.<br />
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But being hurt just makes me feel weak. Trying not to worry about things makes me worry more.<br />
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Many people treat mental illness like a bad mood.<br />
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<i>You'll grow out of it.</i><br />
<i>Just think happy thoughts.</i><br />
<i>It's healthy to have some down-days. </i><br />
<i>Have some 'me-time'!</i><br />
<i>Give it a few days, you'll feel better.</i><br />
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I find myself thinking these thoughts towards Toby. I tell him to focus on things that make him happy. I tell him not to worry about things too far ahead to see.<br />
I tell myself he'll grow out of it.<br />
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And then I step back and realize how much I hate it when people say those things to me. <br />
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Believe me, if there was an Off switch for this, I'd be more than happy to pull it.<br />
I'm not proud of the fact that I cried myself to sleep the other night just because a movie I watched didn't live up to my expectations and I felt cheated out of two hours of my life.<br />
I don't like never having the energy to play with Toby when he asks me to, and then when I do have some energy, he turns me down.<br />
I don't like holding grudges with my son over situations and emotions that are beyond our control.<br />
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Again, if it were as easy as 'getting a good night sleep' or 'walking it off' I would do it.<br />
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But it's like telling someone with cancer to <i>just get over it. Just take a walk, you'll feel better tomorrow.</i><br />
People with depression just can't.<br />
And as a result we start to lose the people that we need closest to us.<br />
Friends get bored because you can't make conversation.<br />
You can feel the small amounts of love you're able to emit just go un-reciprocated.<br />
Things that used to make you happy are now mundane.<br />
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Once again I feel the 'baby blues' creeping in. Even though my son is far from being a baby, I still feel my sadness stemming from everything surrounding him. My inability to deal with his anxiety…wanting to be spontaneous and adventurous in my own life, and not being able to because I can't leave him with anyone, and he doesn't want to come with me... the complete dread I feel at the prospect of attempting to get him in clothing and out of the house to possibly go see a child psychologist… knowing that even if I succeed, if it's the wrong experience he'll never go back. Wanting desperately to go on day trips and play outside knowing it will make ME happier, but not wanting to disappoint myself by trying too hard.<br />
<br />
I often feel like I complain a lot... like I only have negative things to say... both in blogs and in person.<br />
I'm not asking for sympathy.<br />
I'm not complaining for attention.<br />
I just need to vent. I need an outlet where I can sort out my head so I can let go a little bit.<br />
I write so that maybe the one person who is in tears reading this because it's all too real knows they're not alone.<br />
You aren't.<br />
But it feels like it.<br />
There is a stigma about posting depressing status updates on facebook, but sometimes you just need to scream to the world I'M NOT OK and leave it at that.<br />
<br />
I don't need pats on the back and 'keep-your-chin-up's.<br />
I just need you to know that if I seem distant and quiet, it's just that maybe I'm enjoying the peace.<br />
If I don't talk much, it's maybe because I'm afraid I'll drive you away with negativity, or start crying.<br />
<br />
If you are depressed, find an outlet.<br />
Write, journal, find an online forum with like-minded people.<br />
Read their stories and share your own.<br />
Reach out to people in similar situations.<br />
Talk to a therapist if you can.<br />
Tell your family you need help.<br />
Accept help.<br />
And even though you really really want to, never give up.<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-78692608444530844182015-12-21T09:30:00.000-08:002015-12-21T09:30:02.298-08:00Minecraft Blocks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've had a hard time being 'present' lately.<br />
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It's easier to get my stuff done when Toby is playing Minecraft or watching Youtube tutorials, but then I feel guilty for not spending actual time with him. However when I do try to organize an activity he takes very little interest and counts down the seconds until his screen break is over.<br /><br />In the midst of our rut I came upon a post in our Facebook homeschool group that someone was selling off a bag of 90 wooden craft cubes. I love building blocks, and as a result we have LOTS and no reason to get more, especially when they're all cubes and you can't necessarily do much with all cubes.<br />And then I thought - Minecraft is cubes...I could paint them.<br /><br />I dragged Toby along when I was picking up the blocks and I can tell he's looking at me thinking "Whyyyy???" So I hold up the bag and say "I'm painting these. To look like Minecraft blocks. So you can play with them."<br />His eyes lit up for the first time in a long time and he began listing off which types of blocks he wanted me to make.<br /><br />
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The project begins.</div>
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Lots of stones.</div>
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This project quickly became more about me doing something creative for myself, than about making a toy for Toby.<br />37(?) blocks had to be stone coloured for various types of ore and stone. After painting them grey I used a sponge and a darker grey colour to add the store textures, but I don't think I got a good picture of that part.</div>
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First batch: Lapis Lazuli, Redstone, Gold, Emerald, Diamond,<br />Cobblestone, A furnace, and TNT brick to blow them all up</div>
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Some of them evolved into reversable blocks to reflect things you can do in the game.</div>
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Working furnace, large chest, lit jack-o-lantern, and snow bricks have<br />spots so they can be used with the pumpkin for a Snow Golem.</div>
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Crafting box with the chest.</div>
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The beginning of wood planks so we can build a house.</div>
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Toby, at this point, sits at the table and watches me paint and counts the seconds until the paint is dry enough for him to snatch up and play with. He says "Mom, this is so cool casue it's like I can play Minecraft, WHEN I'M NOT ON THE COMPUTER!"<br /><br />...Yes....Yes, that's the entire point there Toby... ;)</div>
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Dirt and grassy dirt blocks, and the set is complete,</div>
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Toby approved.</div>
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Homestead nestled by a hill with a jack-o-lantern to mark our location.</div>
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Minecraft geology.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaz7dcHmiO9-z8ViSvaM4s0KVoaoTtw4UC4rqsv38nMzJPcPZfxkziGHsFQwQEFHsG7tlxG-AzTxckjhOOSBtUaqCQoVKoXOmGgMlAOXFhfRSWcu0UFtsr9e9HgYYMkMsXfJ7mO5PXPnaJ/s1600/December+15+1+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaz7dcHmiO9-z8ViSvaM4s0KVoaoTtw4UC4rqsv38nMzJPcPZfxkziGHsFQwQEFHsG7tlxG-AzTxckjhOOSBtUaqCQoVKoXOmGgMlAOXFhfRSWcu0UFtsr9e9HgYYMkMsXfJ7mO5PXPnaJ/s400/December+15+1+005.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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Final brick count:<br />1 Crafting table</div>
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1 Furnace</div>
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1 TNT<br />1 Pumpkin</div>
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1 Emerald ore</div>
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2 Chests</div>
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2 Snow blocks</div>
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3 Diamond ore</div>
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3 Lapis lazuli</div>
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4 Redstone</div>
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4 Gold ore</div>
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4 Mossy cobblestore</div>
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6 Coal </div>
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6 Iron ore</div>
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10 Cobblestone</div>
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10 Dirt<br />10 Grassy dirt</div>
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22 Wood planks</div>
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While we still have small battles over computer time, it's nice to see him enthusiastic about something again. Grampa and Grama sit and play with him so he can talk endlessly about Minecraft without them all staring at the computer. Grampa invented Duplo Creepers which I haven't grabbed a picture of yet, but I will.<br /><br />All in all it was a fun project which everyone thinks I should mass produce now. Pretty sure there is all kinds of copyrights involved with doing stuff like that, we we'll see what comes of it.</div>
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-80529455950365713542015-09-17T10:52:00.003-07:002015-09-17T10:52:56.960-07:00CarlToby has…. a friend.<br />
He's not invisible. We've just never met him.<br />
And apparently he's not imaginary… but… he is.<br />
<br />
Toby started talking about 'his friends' when he was just over 2. He would tell long stories about 'his farm' and all the animals that lived there. We would see a tractor in a field and he would immediately pipe up that "I had a tractor JUST LIKE THAT on my farm!"<br />
<br />
I generally ignored the stories, recognizing that it was a way of saying "Wouldn't it be cool if…"<br />
<br />
However the stories kept getting more detailed and stayed consistent. I began asking vague questions about the things he was telling me, like how many chickens he had and what types of veggies he grew.<br />
Eventually a reference to 'my friend' started showing up in the stories.<br />
"My friends at my farm, they used to drive a combine."<br />
"My friend has a game just like that, but theirs is PURPLE"<br />
"My friends at my farm like to do that too"<br />
<br />
Over that next year or so the stories of his Farm began to branch into a tale of a big fire in the barn.<br />
He would tell the same story over and over again, about how all the cows were mooing and mooing and wanted to get out so they had to help them.<br />
I heard the story so many times that my replies became repetitive and un-interested.<br />
"Oh my, that's too bad."<br />
"I hope the firefighters came to help"<br />
"Oh no, poor cows"<br />
<br />
Once when my sister was watching him, and hearing the stories many times herself, she began to quiz him for more information aside from the rehearsed story.<br />
"Do your friends live at your farm with you or just visit?"<br />
"One of them lives there with me. Sometimes. He helps out in the barn."<br />
"What does he help you with?"<br />
"Ooooooh you knooooow….moving wooood…and giving food for the cows…but he doesn't live there with me anymore"<br />
"Oh? Why not?"<br />
"He got sick...... So he can't live with me anymore."<br />
"….I….see…"<br />
"One time, there was a fire in the barn, and the cows were mooing and mooing and running running running to get out and the BIG fire trucks had to come and we were helping find all the cows. But he's sick. And now he can't live there. *Continues playing casually with cars, unfazed by what he's saying while my sister quietly panics and tries to memorize the story to tell me*<br />
<br />
We started thinking along the lines of him remembering some past life or something, because he would talk about things that were not part of our household discussions or play.<br />
<br />
For about a year it stopped. I hardly remember hearing stories about his farm or his friends when he was around 4.<br />
<br />
But then when he was 5 and a half it started again. EVERYTHING we talk about somehow gets related back to something his friends did. <br />
We started quizzing him on names again. He started calling him Carl, and his brother's name was Carol.<br />
And again, I can recognize that it's his way of taking part in the conversation. We talk a lot and he's trying to fit in. But it's become incessant.<br />
<br />
Anth:"I was working on a truck today that had to have it's entire hood replaced-"<br />
Tob: "Carl one time was working on a truck that had to have it's hood replaced AAAAND all the wheels AAAAND all the windows"<br />
<br />
Me:"Uh-oh, i think the cookies are burning-"<br />
Toby: "One time Carl and his mom were making cookies and they forgot about them for too long and there was all kinds of smoke in the kitchen, and they thought, 'what the heck?' and then went 'OH NO THE COOKIES' and they were all BLACK…like BLACK…and burnt."<br />
<br />
Grampa:"Well, I got that tree all cut up today-"<br />
Toby:" One time when Carl was cutting up a tree, he couldn't hear because he had his ear protectors on, but waaaaaaaaay up in the bush there was ANOTHER tree that fell and it ALMOST landed where Carl was, but then it didn't, but then Carl had to cut up ANOOOOOTHER tree"<br />
<br />
..And on…and on… and on…<br />
We've learned that Carl is 7.. a year-ish older than Toby. His brother Carol is 6. They live just around the corner from the Toronto Zoo.<br />
Toby knows all this because he talks to him on the phone all the time.<br />
Sometimes Carl seems like an adult because of the jobs he's been said to do. Sometimes there are stories of Carl and his mom… because Carl is really only 7.<br />
<br />
So… if Toby ever starts a story for you with "My friends" or "Carl", it's usually from somewhere inside his head.<br />
<br />
I never had invisible friends growing up, so I don't know how to react or if I even really need to react to it more than any other phase. Is it a phase? Is it something more?<br />
<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-81270323061273808362015-05-25T13:52:00.000-07:002015-09-17T10:53:11.349-07:00Can-doFor a long time I've been going through a phase (is it a phase??) of constantly picking out the things that Toby CAN'T do and that I CAN'T do as a result.<br />
I know I've talked a lot about being frustrated, and Toby's frustrations with dealing with day to day life (like putting on clothes).<br />
I am constantly frustrated that we can't just get in the car and TRAVEL, because I know an hour in, things will go downhill.<br />
I get frustrated sometimes with homeschooling, and wish he would just be ok going to school.<br />
Though he's never been screened for anything, he displays many 'signs' of Aspergers, which in one way has made me take a different approach to dealing with him, but also frustrates me because there's still a long list of things we can't do.<br />
<br />
So, what I'm attempting to do, is create a long list of all the things he CAN do. And maybe somehow the positive can outweigh the negative...<br />
<br />
He can count by 2s, 5s, and 10s.<br />
He can look at a set of items/dots (like a dice or Lego bricks) and instantly tell how many there are, up until about 8.<br />
He knows odd and even numbers.<br />
He can tell left from right.<br />
He can tell horizontal from vertical.<br />
He knows the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.<br />
He can visually identify over 30 species of birds.<br />
He can identify about 10 bird calls.<br />
He can (more or less) make himself a pot of macaroni to eat.<br />
He can read.<br />
He can name the planets.<br />
He knows the sun is actually a star.<br />
He can tell you how clouds are formed.<br />
He can dress himself (even if it's not weather-appropriate..).<br />
He can talk for almost an entire day straight...whether this is a positive or not I don't know, lol.<br />
He can identify eight shapes.<br />
He can readily identify four 3D shapes, but knows more if we're talking about them.<br />
He can negotiate. Which again, is not always positive in my favour, but it's a skill...<br />
He can play really really well with other kids, if he's in the mood.<br />
He has a really good memory.<br />
He can identify a good handful of insects.<br />
He can readily identify about 5 types of tree, but knows names for many more.<br />
He can plant his own garden.<br />
He can name almost any fruit or vegetable I show him.<br />
He can be very observant, and often picks out tiny details in random things.<br />
He can manipulate Lego into almost anything.<br />
He can count to 100.<br />
He can count backwards from 10.<br />
He can tell you the difference between synonyms, antonyms and homonyms.<br />
He can draw very detailed pictures (even though they're still very 'pre-school' looking, there are TONNES of included details).<br />
He can play soccer really well... but mostly just wants to play it with me.<br />
He can use a hammer.<br />
He can use a drill.<br />
He can use a screwdriver.<br />
He can ask really interesting questions.<br />
He can colour really well.<br />
He can help out at the store (when he's feeling helpful).<br />
He can identify most car makes by logo.<br />
He can identify all large truck makes by logo.<br />
He has become rather adept at Minecraft…whether I like it or not…<br />
He can build a campfire (minus actually lighting it).<br />
He can eat at a restaurant without causing a scene.<br />
He can leave a store without throwing a fit.<br />
He can operate a camera and take pretty good photos.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-77179992802566795022015-03-16T19:12:00.002-07:002015-03-16T19:12:53.767-07:00Fifty Shades of No<br />
Yep.<br />
<br />
I'm gonna talk about the thing.<br />
<br />
I will say first off, I have not read the Fifty Shades books aside from excerpts, essays and blog posts. I have not seen the movie aside from clips.<br />
But I feel like that's enough.<br />
<br />
Ok, I get it.<br />
Its hot and steamy and sometimes we all like a little fantasy to escape to.<br />
<br />
The problem is in how this entire relationship is portrayed, and to whom this may be impressing upon.<br />
<br />
First of all: <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i> began it's life as <a href="http://fiftyshadesofgrey.wikia.com/wiki/Master_of_the_Universe" target="_blank">Twilight fanfiction</a>. You probably knew this by now, though surprisingly there are still people I talk to who don't know, or thought it was a rumour.<br />
<i>Master of the Universe</i> took Edward and Bella out of the twilight books and gave them racy grown-up lives, seemingly based on the mildly disturbing vampire love-making scenes from Breaking Dawn.<br />
Here's the thing with that... they're vampires.<br />
Edward is in a sulk for two books about not being able to control his super masculine power and doesn't want to accidentally tear Bella limb from limb.<br />
We excuse this because it's supernatural fantasy.<br />
But when you take the situation out of the fantasy, there are some big problems.<br />
I did read all the Twilight books, and I liked them at the time, but I also recognize how twisted Edward and Bella's relationship was, and how having a female 'heroine' do nothing but pine away after a 'flawless' male lead, isn't exactly the image of a healthy relationship.<br />
And so now we have <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>, which houses characters in the real-world with these character traits.<br />
<br />
Next: Books and movies are different. In books things can be left up to the imagination, and you get internal character dialogue that doesn't translate to movies well unless you have a constant voice-over narration. In the books you get the private doubts and fears, and hopes and dreams of the character at hand. In a movie a simple 'Ok' comes out, but in a book there may be two pages of internal dialogue and character development before that 'Ok' comes out.<br />
Movies are also more engaging and accessible to a younger audience.<br />
Yes, the Fifty Shades books are within child's reach at Walmart, but a kid is not going to stand in the aisle and read the whole thing. They're more likely to stumble upon clips or bootlegged copies online, or have them sent around by friends who think they should "check this out".<br />
<br />
Which brings us to the BDSM (Bondage, dominance, sadomasochism) side of it all.<br />
In a controlled, consenting, disciplined environment, there is nothing wrong with BDSM. To each their own.<br />
The problem with the movie is that it doesn't really TEACH those rules... it just shows the actions. It doesn't go into the boring explanatory details about how proper tools and strict rules are mandatory or nothing happens. It doesn't tell you that usually the purpose of BDSM is to give the submissive some form of escape or pleasure, NOT the dominator. It's usually not even about sex at all. When the safe word is called (or in Ana's case, forgotten or made up) the game is over, no discussion (except if you are Mr. Grey, in which case it it sometimes taken as a signal to start trying harder...).<br />
As adults we can kind of weed out for ourselves what's 'healthy' and what's not when seeing this relationship played out.<br />
<br />
But it's when wildly popular R-rated movies become 'Challenge Accepted' to kids betting on who can get their hands on the goods first…problems happen.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago a high-school <a href="http://trendingnow.altervista.org/highschool-student-died-re-enacting-fifty-shades-grey" target="_blank">girl in the Philippines died</a>.<br />
I'll spare the details from the article, but she and her boyfriend thought it would be 'fun' to re-enact scenes from the movie.<br />
But due to using improper tools, she died and he was arrested.<br />
<br />
Around the same time a 19 year old <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-50-shades-of-grey-uic-sex-charge-20150223-story.html" target="_blank">University of Illinois student</a> was charged for assault after allegedly trying to re-enact a scene from Fifty Shades.<br />
<br />
A week ago an <a href="http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2015/03/07/boy-turns-school-cable-ties-dressed-fifty-shades-grey-character" target="_blank">11 year old British boy</a> was asked to sit out of school activities when he showed up to his school's World Book Day dressed in a grey suit, with a handful of cable ties.<br />
Though they make an interesting point about how people were also dressed as fictional serial killers, and how is that any better, the fact remains that your 11 year old kid shouldn't know enough about Fifty Shades of Grey or what the cable ties are for to want to go to school dressed as the manipulative lead character from this book.<br />
<br />
Which is why (and here I go pushing more buttons) we NEED this new Ontario Sex-ed curriculum.<br />
<br />
We've needed it since I was going through it.<br />
<br />
And I don't mean that we need to teach kids about BDSM when they're in grade 2. And that's not at all what the curriculum teaches, despite the outcry of some internet people.<br />
<br />
The curriculum (which isn't listed as the 'Sex-ed Curriculum', but is layered deep within the <a href="http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/elementary/health1to8.pdf" target="_blank">Health and Physical Education</a> portion of the curriculum, which also extensively teaches about healthy bodies, lifestyles, and nutrition) merely spreads out the introduction of concepts over several years instead of not talking about it at all until after grade 6.<br />
<br />
Below is a summary.<br />
<br />
In Grade 1, as part of learning human biology, they are taught proper names for body parts.<br />
Which, in all honestly, kids should know from the time they are 2.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 45px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Teacher prompt: </i></b>“We talk about all body parts with respect. Why is it important to know about your own body, and use correct names for the parts of your body?” </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-left: 45px; margin-top: 3px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Student: </i></b>“All parts of my body are a part of me, and I need to know how to take care of and talk about my own body. If I’m hurt or need help, and I know the right words, other people will know what I’m talking about.” </span></div>
In Grade 2 they learn about personal boundaries, standing up for yourself, and respect for others.<br />
<br />
In Grade 3 they are asked to identify characteristics of healthy relationships, and discuss addictive behaviors, like reliance on sugar, food, alcohol, or nicotine. They are challenged to relate the things they see on TV or video games to real-life, and realize that violence and actions seen on screen are often unrealistic or unacceptable and have consequences.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 45px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Teacher prompt: </i></b>“Consider different types of relationships – with friends, siblings, parents, other adults – and think about the kinds of behaviour that help to make those relationships healthier. What can you do if you are having problems with a relationship?” </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-left: 45px; margin-top: 3px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Student: </i></b>“I can tell the person how I’m feeling, and we can try to work something out, or if we can’t solve the problem, we can just say we disagree. We could also try to get advice from someone else.” </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 45px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Teacher prompt: </i></b>“When a family member is abusing alcohol, there is an impact on him or her, but there is also an impact on others. What impact does it have on others in the family?” </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 45px; margin-top: 3px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Student: </i></b>“People who abuse alcohol may not be able to take good care of their families. They may miss important events, spend money on alcohol that is needed for other things, or get involved in arguments. Sometimes emotional or physical abuse happens in families if someone is abusing alcohol.” </span></div>
<br />
In Grade 4 they discuss different forms of bullying and abuse, further discuss the dangers of smoking and alcohol based on their ingredients, and begin to discuss body changes during puberty.<br />
Some people are freaking out over this, but the reality is kids on average are starting puberty earlier now than before. Being aware of these changes before they happen can help ease the panic and 'taboo' that can surround this topic.<br />
This is also the grade that people believe 'sexting' is introduced. They do NOT use this word. It's embedded in a discussion about sharing things with people over electronic devices that are inappropriate. I believe the intention of this is not to say 'sexting is a thing', but to say that in an age of technology, the same rules about talking to strangers and keeping yourself safe apply.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 45px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Teacher prompt: </i></b>“Advances in technology have greatly increased our ability to get and share information and to communicate and collaborate with each other. But these benefits also come with some risks and potential difficulties, such as a possible loss of privacy, addiction, increased sedentary behaviour, or exposure to people who ask you for sexual pictures or want you to share personal information. What are some things you should do to use this technology safely? How can you get help if you get into trouble?” </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-left: 45px; margin-top: 3px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Student: </i></b>“I should make sure that an adult knows what I am doing when I’m using the computer, the Internet, or a cell phone, so I have someone who can help if needed. When I can, I should use a computer in a public space like a kitchen, living room, or library, instead of alone in my bedroom. I shouldn’t share my password or personal information. I should be aware that people are not always who they say they are online. I should close and delete pop-ups and spam messages without responding. If there’s a problem, I should stop right away and tell an adult instead of trying to solve the problem online. I should help my friends by reminding them of these tips.”</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></div>
In Grade 5 they further discuss the effects of alcohol on the body and contributing factors to who can be more effected. They learn the names for the parts of male and female reproductive systems WHICH IS ONLY ONE YEAR EARLIER THAN WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL. 20 YEARS AGO.<br />
There is also a lot of focus on mental health and dealing with feelings of stress and anxiety during puberty and ways to help yourself or ask for help.<br />
Bullying is further discussed in relation to understanding that every one is different and how racist, homophobic, sexist, or derogatory comments are inappropriate and hurtful.<br />
<br />
Grade 6 (Which is, when I was in school, when we BEGAN discussing these topics. Suddenly introducing this stuff to giggly pre-teens with an air of anxiety coming from the teacher makes for a room full of kids who aren't taking things seriously, or for some kids the information comes too late.) is when the effects of illicit drugs are discussed, along with furthering discussions about healthy relationships, self-worth, and feelings of 'normalcy' in puberty. They re-touch on concepts of stereotyping and bullying.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 13px; text-indent: -13px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">"Human Development and Sexual Health </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">C3.3 </span>assess the effects of stereotypes, including homophobia and assumptions regarding gender roles and expectations, sexual orientation, gender expression, race, ethnicity or culture, mental health, and abilities, on an individual’s self-concept, social inclusion, and relationships with others, and propose appropriate ways of responding to and changing assumptions and stereotypes [PS, CT] "</span></div>
<br />
In Grade 7 students talk about internet safety - not giving out passwords, addresses, full names, photos or phone numbers in a public domain. This is the FIRST AND ONLY REFERENCE I see to 'sexting'.<br />
They again discuss mental health in relation to substance abuse.<br />
They discuss STIs, ways you can contract them, pregnancy and intercourse, but also PROMOTE ABSTINENCE, for those who seem to feel they don't.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 13px; text-indent: -13px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">"Human Development and Sexual Health </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">C1.3 </span>explain the importance of having a shared understanding with a partner about the following: delaying sexual activity until they are older <i>(e.g., choosing to abstain from any genital contact; choosing to abstain from having vaginal or anal intercourse; choosing to abstain from having oral-genital contact)</i>; the reasons for not engaging in sexual activity; the concept of consent and how consent is communicated; and, in general, the need to communicate clearly with each other when making decisions about sexual activity in the relationship.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 45px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Teacher prompt: </i></b>“The term <i>abstinence </i>can mean different things to different people. People can also have different understandings of what is meant by having or not having sex. Be clear in your own mind about what you are comfortable or uncomfortable with. Being able to talk about this with a partner is an important part of sexual health. Having sex can be an enjoyable experience and can be an important part of a close relationship when you are older. But having sex has risks too, including physical risks like sexually transmitted infections – which are common and which can hurt you – and getting pregnant when you don’t want to. What are some of the emotional considerations to think about?” </span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="font-family: Palatino; margin-bottom: 22px; margin-left: 45px; margin-top: 3px;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Student: </i></b>“It’s best to wait until you are older to have sex because you need to be emotionally ready, which includes being able to talk with your partner about how you feel, being prepared to talk about and use protection against STIs or pregnancy, and being prepared to handle the emotional ups and downs of a relationship, including the ending of a relationship, which can hurt a lot. Personal values, family values, and religious beliefs can influence how you think about sexuality and sexual activity. A person should not have sex if their partner is not ready or has not given consent, if they are feeling pressured, if they are unsure, or if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” </span></div>
Bullying is addressed again with focus on homophobic and racial slurs. Sexual harassment is addressed. Mental health, depression, sexual/gender identity and self-image issues are addressed.<br />
<br />
THIS IS THE SAME GRADE THAT THESE TOPICS WERE INTRODUCED WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL. NOTHING HERE HAS CHANGED MUCH.<br />
<br />
In Grade 8 they expand on the concepts of gender identity and sexual orientation. Abstinence, contraception and consent, in regards to sexual health are enforced. A further emphasis on mental health in regards to relationships and substance abuse.<br />
<br />
From what I remember of grades 6-8, all these topics were introduced at once - only.at the age you 'needed' the information<br />
The only thing now is that we're encouraging acceptance, understanding, and safety at an earlier age, so these ideals can by applied to sexual health later in the curriculum.<br />
<br />
The fact of the matter is, some kids get wrapped up in some horrible situations, and don't understand what's happening to them enough to get help. And even though we're not going to say outright to 6 year olds "if you're being abused or raped, tell someone!", the concepts of permission, consent, privacy, and emotional health will hopefully give them the tools they need to either get out of a bad situation, or build healthy future relationships.<br />
Some kids really don't have a clue until grade 6/7 when some of these concepts used to be suddenly introduced for the first time.<br />
Most kids, my school included, knew too much from un-reliable sources before healthy relationship ideals were taught in school. And that was BEFORE internet and cellphones being in everyone's pocket.<br />
Kids know much more than they let on. They hear things. They see things. Their friends talk about things they saw on TV, even if it's shows you wouldn't let your own child watch.<br />
I knew Simpsons quotes before I knew who The Simpsons were. This is like grade 3.<br />
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If you are the parent who wants to be the one to break the news to your kids, that's great. If you think the news is being broken to them too soon, you can talk to your school's principal and teachers about it. Every teacher can interpret the curriculum differently and still get the point across. When I was in school we had to have permission forms signed before this portion of our health classes. If that's still the case, then just don't sign the form, but PLEASE cover all of these topics somehow.<br />
I'm ETERNALLY grateful that I had the option of having this taught in school and not having to deal with the 'embarrassment' of needing my parents to talk about things with me. And I think the feelings of embarrassment stemmed from not having certain topics normalized sooner, aside from schoolyard-talk.<br />
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THE POINT IS: Under-education on this subject can lead to poor decision making, based on things they see online or on TV.<br />
Making a book like Fifty Shades in to a movie that is widely acclaimed/anticipated/advertised/hyped and isn't hidden from pre-teens, aside form the R rating (which kids have a way of getting around), is bound to have an effect on people. The more people say how bad it is, the more people will inevitably want to see for themselves.<br />
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People think that talking to kids about these types of things leads them to do these things. But if nobody talks to them about it, they will try to educate themselves and cluelessly end up getting hurt.<br />
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I think movie-makers and the media need to think twice about how manipulative relationships like this are idolized.<br />
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I think that kids should be able to form opinions about healthy relationships their whole lives, instead of having it flashed across a screen suddenly in grade 6.<br />
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I think that instead of scrambling to teach victims how to say no, we need to be putting more effort into teaching attackers how to listen.<br />
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Even a three-year-old can tell you that NO means NO.<br />
And we need to make them also understand that ONLY 'YES' means 'Yes'.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-60175380905836340262015-02-17T13:24:00.000-08:002015-02-17T13:26:18.228-08:00Indoor WinterI've tried to start this blog several times and then wasn't sure where I was going with it.<br />
On one hand I just want to complain.<br />
On another hand I want to try to find a way to be positive about things.<br />
On another hand maybe I'm just trying to find people in the same situation as me.<br />
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Toby is....opinionated.<br />
To put it gently.<br />
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But more than opinionated, he's sensitive.<br />
When people say that someone is sensitive, the idea that first comes to mind is that of someone who is babyish and touchy. But its much more than that.<br />
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He's sensitive in that he's hyper-aware of things that other kids may breeze through.<br />
He can't watch movies with bad-guys because he gets really really concerned about why they're acting that way. It startles him, and then he asks why they did *thing*, and then I say that it's because that character thought it was the right thing to do for them, but we know that it's maybe not the best or nicest solution. And instead of accepting that he goes… but… WHY? And I explain that that's just the way that character was written, some stories have characters like that.<br />
But…. WHY??<br />
And then he looses the plot line and asks to turn it off.<br />
And it's not like we're trying to watch Avengers or anything… this is like…Finding Nemo. Or Rio.<br />
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Other things like getting dressed are a huge chore for him. Clothes have to fit right and feel right and not have tags and his socks have to be pulled up just enough, but not too much that he can feel them snug on his toes, but not too lose that they feel like they're slipping (there's about 2mm difference between these two).<br />
Since last year was the first full year that I have not physically dressed him, he's become very independent and opinionated about what he wears.<br />
For instance, he has been wearing shorts since last April.<br />
He'll wear 'work pants', but he wants nothing to do with his winter pyjamas in our freezing cold house.<br />
I guess he has a very high core-furnace, because he seems to be functioning.<br />
He just keeps telling me that he likes the feel of his bed sheets on his legs and gets too hot at night with other pyjamas on. Which is fine… but then he doesn't want to change in the morning.<br />
This has spilled over to outdoor clothing.<br />
Last year's snow pants were 3 inches too short, as was his coat. And boots (ok maybe not 3 inches). So we bought new ones.<br />
This was fine for a while, but then his mitts started slipping out of his sleeves. Last winter he left them permanently like this, risking frostbite on his wrists, but this year it was the end of the world, since we hadn't gotten used to the snow yet.<br />
So new mitts were bought.<br />
This fixed things for two plays outside, though the play usually still ended in tears even when I tried to cut off the games before that happened.<br />
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Then it got warm again. We had a freaky warm spell in December where he asked if he could wear shoes to town instead of boots and I said yes, cause there was no snow. Anywhere.<br />
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After that everything fell apart. The next time it snowed we tried to go outside and I couldn't get his pants folded right to fit in his boots. I did it 5 times, convinced him that it would get better once he started moving, finished dressing him, turned around to get my coat, and turned back to find him in tears and undressing himself.<br />
The next week he wanted to go sledding, so we tried again. I told him that last year he wore his pajama pants with socks over the cuff so it didn't feel weird in his boots. He didn't believe me and didn't want to try.<br />
This happened about 4 times before he convinced himself that his boots didn't fit, and no other pairs of boots would ever fit. And all of his socks were terrible. And he was never changing out of pyjamas ever again.<br />
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We are now down to one pair of socks that he will wear, a new pair of shoes that he barely tolerates, a jacket (with t-shirt underneath, no long-sleeved shirts allowed), and a cap.<br />
No mitts.<br />
No winter coat.<br />
No toque.<br />
No boots.<br />
<br />
Yep.<br />
<br />
I was really really frustrated and angry at first. Just when I think I have him figured out, he comes up with some other unmanageable trait.<br />
But eventually I had to admit… he's fine.<br />
If he's cold in the house (which is rare) he will put on a sweater, or slippers, but rarely both at the same time. Sometimes he even wears his toque cause his head is 'so cold'… but he can't wear it outside...<br />
We're only outside long enough to walk from the car to whatever building we're going to, so if he chooses not to wear a proper hat he will be cold but he won't die.<br />
I tell him frequently that if he doesn't like it, I brought his toque. He doesn't complain after that.<br />
I worried about exercise because he's a very active kid who is now spending most of his time sitting and playing with Lego. But we go to the store several days a week where he does nothing but run laps around the store. Literally.<br />
I finally relaxed a little more when I came across <a href="http://www.todaysparent.com/kids/helping-kids-with-sensory-processing-disorder/" target="_blank">this article</a> about kids with Sensory Processing Disorder. I don't want to jump on the 'he has a disorder' wagon, but it's nice to know there are other people struggling with similarly exasperating issues. Please do read the article, because I want to just quote the heck out of it… but it's better to read.<br />
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I will quote this though: "<span style="background-color: white; font-family: ProximaNovaCnRgRegular, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 22px;">For parents, avoiding certain situations can seem like an easier prospect than dealing with the potential fallout, not to mention the waiting judgment of a bystander"</span><br />
<br />
We avoid large group play dates where I know he will get over-stimulated, even if he appears to be having fun. The fallout at home for the next two days isn't worth it.<br />
We avoid long day-trips/car rides. His comfort level in the car lasts for about an hour, and even if we reach a destination just fine… it's the getting home again...<br />
We avoid situations with loud unpredictable noises like parades, fireworks, or concert performances.<br />
We only engage in play activities where I know he's appropriately dressed, and won't be either left-out, or try to join in and inevitably be miserable (which in his head it still not worth dealing with the clothing).<br />
<br />
So, I'm sorry if we cancel play-dates unexpectedly.<br />
I'm sorry if you come to our house and he throws a fit because he wasn't expecting anyone to come at that exact moment.<br />
I'm sorry that we haven't been to any outdoor play activities this winter.<br />
It's nothing personal… it's just how we need to function.<br />
<br />
I've made peace with the fact that we will not be going outside this winter. It's not worth stressing over. Next year may be the same or different.<br />
He's going to be one of those people who walk around in shorts and a t-shirt in the winter.<br />
He's going to be one of those people who has a really hard time adjusting to change.<br />
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As long as I can realize that now, maybe I can come up with the tools to help him on his way.<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-64714951499109739472015-02-06T08:31:00.002-08:002015-02-17T13:24:55.001-08:00The Mess<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Our living room is a mess. It's always a mess.</div>
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This was last year. Lots of play, but lots of mess.</div>
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This is what it looked like last week. Not it's worst, but it was in amongst other cleaning/re-organizing projects that were going on.</div>
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After all the Lego was cleaned up and the floor vacuumed , I went to make dinner and came back to this:</div>
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All the Playmobil was... everywhere.</div>
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(Also note that 90% of the Playmobil is over 15 years old and belonged to Shannon and I)</div>
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"What are you doing?!" I asked, trying to keep a good humour.</div>
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"Building a farm" said Toby.</div>
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And upon closer inspection, amid the apparent chaos was a series of very thought out tableaus.<br />
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A very busy pond complete with Mallards, geese, fish, lily pads, frogs.....and lobsters...</div>
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A rabbit hutch enclosure with flowers to munch, water bowls, and a thicket for hiding.</div>
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A very busy orchard tree where the squirrels and owls hang out.</div>
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A barn yard (originally a circus tent) with cows, pigs, ponies, and goats)</div>
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And a baby calf nursing.</div>
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The beginnings of a Home Depot, complete with garden centre.</div>
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Guy harvesting all the apples that fell on the ground into crates for the market.</div>
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Chainsawing down a tree because it's old and close to the house and they don't want it to get hit by lightning.</div>
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Gas station down to road from the farm.</div>
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Apparently this is me planting things in pots, while Anthony and Toby dig a big hole in the garden.</div>
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The house is under renovations, so all the furniture got taken out and drop cloths were put down.</div>
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Apparently this is also a farm that people can come stay at and learn about farming.<br />
There was a big introductory ceremony where they all shook hands and the kids ran off to play.</div>
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Home Depot now has shelves and product.</div>
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And a very precarious sign.</div>
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Even though I know he's playing, I still feel like everything is in a constant state of mess.</div>
That's why I documented this, to prove to myself that there is a high level of organized play withing the chaos.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-53376604166527860842015-02-02T08:39:00.000-08:002015-02-02T08:39:12.307-08:00Small TalkI'm an introvert.<br />
<br />
Sort of.<br />
<br />
I've recently been introduced to the term 'ambivert', which is kind of a limbo area between introvert and extrovert. You possess all the introverted qualities of needing a personal bubble and quiet time and preferring to be an observer, but you also occasionally REALLY enjoy being at a bar or a concert or having deep multi-hour conversations.<br />
<br />
One thing that rang very true for me was that, even though us ambiverts enjoy talking, engaging in small-talk is very hard and tiresome and riddled with anxiety.<br />
<br />
I like rambling. Hence why I blog (and why they sometimes get wordy and carried away.. sorry about that). So I find it hard to keep my feelings contained to short answers and not get in to divulging information that other people really don't care about, or that I don't need to share with someone who used to go to college with my grandparents who I haven't seen in like 10 years.<br />
I begin to feel that small-talk is like lying.<br />
And I have a hard time with that.<br />
<br />
"Hi! How are you doing?!"<br />
"Just fine, how about you?" <i>Actually I'm not all that fine, I've been pretty sleep deprived lately. Full of anxiety for unknown reasons. My son's been pretty moody lately so it's kind of wearing us all down. And I just asked how you were because it's habit… I'm still not really remembering your name, though I'm sure I should know it.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"Congratulations by the way!"<br />
"Oh thanks!" <i>Wait, why did you say that… are you referring to me having a kid? That was like 6 years ago...Have I talked to you since then? Did I do something I forgot about? Did I get an award? Oh, wait, you must be talking about taking over the toy store… we'll go with that and hope I'm right</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"How is all that going?"<br />
"Pretty great, yeah it's been a lot of fun!" <i>I'm really hoping you're referring to the toy store. And it's actually been pretty stressful lately just trying to keep up with everything. Another reason I've probably been not sleeping properly. There's a lot on my mind.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"And how's little Toby doing?"<br />
"Oh he's pretty good. Smart kid. Growing like a weed" <i>He's fine today, but yesterday he was not fine. not fine at all. He harbours a lot of low self esteem and anxiety that turns to aggression. I'm not sure where it comes from. We manage, but it's tiring to stay one step ahead of it all the time.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"He must be in school by now right? How old is he?"<br />
"He's 6, and actually we're homeschooling" <i>*Braces for potential reactions to 'homeschooling'*</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"Oh…homeschooling eh?"<br />
"Yeah, it's going pretty well… we're having fun with it so far" <i>I'm only really homeschooling out of survival. He had a really hard time adjusting to getting up everyday and leaving the house. He's been responding better to homeschooling, but I sometimes feel like he's not getting enough stimulation. Other days he seems to find enough to learn about of his own, so I try to cling to those days and remember that he's 'only' 6.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"Well it was good to see you again! Say hi to your Grandma for me."<br />
"Yeah, will do!" <i>Since I don't really remember who you are, I'm not sure which Grandma you're referring to, and I don't call either of them 'Grandma' so that just makes it more confusing. I'm realizing now I didn't ask you a single question for this entire conversation so it probably seemed like I was a lousy conversationalist. Sorry about that. I'm going to go look really interested in this thing over here so nobody else talks to me and asks me all the same questions and I have to repeat all this over and over and over again.</i>Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-81289118884025000482014-12-11T20:06:00.003-08:002014-12-11T20:07:42.044-08:00I'm Still HereSo... it's been a while.<br />
<br />
How have you been?<br />
<br />
Me? Well, I'm ... ya know...<br />
<br />
Tired.<br />
<br />
That seems like such a 'mom' thing to say right? The cop-out answer to the 'how are you?' question. "Oh, ya know, tired". Maybe even a feeble laugh for good measure.<br />
<br />
The fact is, unless your kids are quiet, well-behaved, love-to-sleep angels... like..99% of the time...which isn't actually healthy for kids to be like... then you will feel that nagging, exasperated, swelling, weighted feeling that is simplest to express as just... 'Tired'.<br />
<br />
One would think that this should pass after toddler-hood. It did for a while. But child-hood seems to have brought forth a whole new set of obstacles.<br />
<br />
Let's try to remain positive for a moment...<br />
- Toby sleeps through the night. If he wakes slightly, he falls back asleep.<br />
- He doesn't nurse. There was a time when I was sure he'd be in college before he stopped.<br />
- He has only twice had a bathroom accident, when he was first toilet training. Never since. He wakes up early and creeps to the bathroom himself.<br />
- He gets himself dressed. He knows what clothes he likes, picks them out, matches them, dresses himself entirely.<br />
- He eats lots of good food. Always has.<br />
- He's all about safety gear. Hard hat and eye glasses and ear protectors always when doing work. Even if it's pretend work with Lego.<br />
<br />
But even so... as I said... there are some new obstacles.<br />
<br />
Yes he sleeps through the night, but I must be the one to put him to bed. Always. Don't be late. Don't think about going away for the weekend. Cause he just won't sleep. Or he'll cry til he passes out, and not in a good way. He's smart enough now that he knows I don't actually go to bed when he goes to bed, I go downstairs. And heaven forbid if I'm not there when he has a once-in-a-blue-moon anxiety attack.<br />
<br />
No, he doesn't nurse, but now he argues. I used to able to curb a tantrum by sitting on the couch and lifting my shirt. Now there's just screaming. He won't come sit on my lap. I'm not allowed to touch him, but I MUST pick him up THIS MINUTE. Without touching him. Or coming near him. Or talking to him. Or looking at him. BUT DON'T LEAVE THE ROOM. Sit here. Let me push your back with my feet. DON'T GET UP, WHERE ARE YOU GOING??<br />
<br />
Yes, he's great with the toilet. But he must never ever ever wipe himself. Why? Because he might get something on his finger. And no, folding the toilet paper to cover his hand is NOT the answer. It MUST be rolled into the tightest tiniest ball possible. But since it's in a ball, his fingers might get dirty. Oh, and this ball MUST consist of EXACTLY 1/3 of a toilet paper roll. Cause, duh, any more than that would be a waste. But any less MIGHT let some wet through.<br />
<br />
He gets dressed on his own... but that also means I may never ever have another opinion about his clothing ever again. We went to three weddings this summer. The first was a novelty, so he dressed the part. But in the car the jacket came off. After the ceremony the vest and tie came off. At the dinner the shirt had to be unbuttoned. We left in t-shirt, pants, and running shoes. The next wedding was granted a button up shirt, nothing more. The next wedding he refused to attend.<br />
He has yet to put on winter pajamas. He has been wearing shorts and a t-shirt since May. He insists he's warm, but maybe I could turn the heat up a bit... and bring him some blankets...and tea. Oh and also, those boots and coat he said he loved? Well, something has gone HORRIBLY wrong, and they can't POSSIBLY be the same ones we bought because they feel weird. Yesterday they we're too big, now everything is too tight. But we should go outside. Like now. But sorry no, those snow boots are unacceptable. Why aren't we going outside yet?<br />
<br />
He eats lots of good food, but has suddenly decided he's picky. He can't eat anything apple-cinnamon flavoured, even though he used to love it. But he LOVES apple crisp. He will ONLY drink soy milk on his cereal, cause that's what Grampa has, but can't tell the difference if I put almond milk on when he's not looking. Fish is forbidden, unless it's canned tuna. Chicken is okaaaaaay I guess, as long as it doesn't actually resemble chicken. Like if it's chicken thighs all chopped up with some kind of sauce, we're good. But no strips of chicken breast. He loves baking cookies, and pretends to like eating them, but never eats more than one. Then the whole batch just kind of...sits. Spinach salad used to be be a favourite, but now it's awful. Just awful. Brussels Sprouts on the other hand... load em up.<br />
<br />
He's all about being safe, but will happily walk through a construction site barefoot. But will then complain about all the sharp things in his feet. He needs the right gear for the job but won't wear weather appropriate clothing. Rain boots? In the rain? I'm pretty sure that's why flip flops were invented. Don't really care that it's 2 degrees out. But go out in flip flops onto dewy grass on a 30 degree morning?? Well THAT my friend calls for some rubber boots! Maybe even a raincoat for good measure!<br />
<br />
So you see... I'm tired.<br />
Not just sleep deprived, because I do actually sleep, but tired of arguing. Tired of trying to make myself stay very very calm and rational. Tired of trying to think two steps ahead of unpredictable. Tired of making plans, but knowing that they probably won't stick. Tired of being a mediator for myself and a 6 year old.<br />
<br />
And with that, I disappear again.<br />
Hopefully for not as long.<br />
Depends how tired I'm feeling.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-9024222506181525902014-09-03T18:45:00.000-07:002014-09-03T18:45:44.196-07:00First Day of 'School'<div style="text-align: center;">
<u> First Day of School</u><br />
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7:30 am - Wake up... barely<br />
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7:50 am - Get actually woken up by Toby crawling in to bed beside me<br />
<br />
8:00 am - Grumbly stomach forces me out of bed<br />
<br />
8:30 am - Do dishes and wonder if I'm ever going to make the zucchini relish I've been saying I was going to make for two weeks.<br />
<br />
8:35 am - Find lost Lego piece upon request<br />
<br />
8:40 am - Resume dishes<br />
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8:45 am - Take apart stuck Lego pieces upon request<br />
<br />
9:00 am - Get roped in to building Lego<br />
<br />
9:20 am - Receive text message asking if we are free to play at the last minute.<br />
(Yes, anything but more cleaning!)<br />
<br />
9:35 am - Bake banana muffins<br />
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10:30 am - Leave home<br />
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11:00 am - Learn about electrical circuits </div>
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11:15 am - Discover that reading upside down is WAY better than reading sitting up</div>
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11:20 am - Finally get the circuit to work properly</div>
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11:30 am - Disappear and play make-believe games</div>
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12:05 pm - Look for the moon through the clouds... or possibly just spy on the construction equipment driving up and down the road</div>
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12:30 pm - Remember that it's lunch-ish time.</div>
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Spend an hour eating sweet potato soup, jambalaya, watermelon, and banana muffins</div>
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1:30 pm - Go outside at kid's request (and now that it's done raining)</div>
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Kids disappear and play games in the tree fort and on the swings</div>
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2:15 pm - We're presented with a garden harvest</div>
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2:30 pm - More harvest shows up at the table</div>
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2:35 pm - Break open some beans and determine that they are too far-gone to eat, but not ripe enough to harvest the seeds yet.</div>
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2:55 pm - Find a dead mosquito on the table and study it up close.</div>
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3:00 pm - Go inside because it's now wet and cold. Have another snack of muffins.</div>
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3:15 pm - Kids disappear to 'rehearse for a play'</div>
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3:30 pm - Watch performance of 'play'</div>
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3:53 pm - Realize what time it is and remember that dinner is a thing that needs to be made at home.</div>
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4:15 pm - Actually leave</div>
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Home - make dinner and cut up zucchini to maybe get the relish done tomorrow...</div>
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Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-92200255848836266332014-06-11T18:08:00.000-07:002014-08-11T13:19:22.321-07:00Growing GoodnessA month or so ago I read a piece about making a list of the top five things you want your child to learn.<br />
This doesn't necessarily mean 'math/science/history', though not dis-counting those, but can also entail morals and values that are strong in your family. <br />
It's harder than you think. There are so many things you want your kids to experience, it's hard to narrow it down to only the top 5, especially when you drop the barrier between 'school subjects' and 'life lessons'.<br />
While I have not narrowed down my list whatsoever, the one solid point, that I actually got from the original piece I read, was that I was my kids to know how to grow and prepare their own food.<br />
<br />
At first you think, ok sure, how hard is it to stick a seed in the ground? You trying to turn them into a chef with all this kitchen mumbo-jumbo?<br />
<br />
Maybe to some it sounds less important than knowing how to manage finances, or memorize the periodic table.<br />
<br />
But someday, and I think we're seeing hints of this already, it's not going to be easy to find good, safe food in our grocery stores, if at all.<br />
<br />
I was brought up living next door to my Opa, whose entire life has been agriculture. He tended kilometers of tomato greenhouses when he lived in Holland, and even ended up looking after his brother's gardening jobs when they skipped out to go swimming. When he moved to Canada all he knew how to do was farm and moved across the country earning money at what he did best. For years he worked on the Holland Marsh here in Ontario, and has become one of the provinces foremost experts on carrot and onion crops.<br />
This spilled over into home-life where we would grow over an acre of experimental vegetable varieties each year that had to be kept in top shape in order for the trials to be worth it.<br />
In his 'retirement' we still manage almost as much garden space, but mostly 'personal' experiments now with some new variety of potato or another.<br />
I wasn't in the garden much when I was little. But I still watched. And Toby has a drive to just dig, so we were given our own plot when he was young. I knew a lot from watching, but still learned a lot.<br />
Keep your rows straight so the irrigation hose doesn't have to jog.<br />
Keep your rows even so raking and weeding the paths is easier.<br />
Keep the dirt on the paths loose to prevent weed growth and not trap the vegetables in the ground.<br />
Label everything.<br />
Keep track of the day you plant every year.<br />
When the food is ripe, pick it every day.<br />
<br />
This style of farming may sound daunting. And I'd be lying if i said it wasn't.<br />
Sometimes I wish I <i>didn't</i> know what I know so I didn't have to be so picky.<br />
But the truth is, it works. Nothing fails. Everything tastes good.<br />
<br />
This is what I want my kids to learn. I want them to know what real food is. I want them to know where food comes from so they understand how much work it must take to fill the shelves of a grocery store. ALL the grocery stores. I want them to be able to feed themselves and their neighbours if there is a food catastrophe some day. I want them to know that cooking is not terrifying. I want math lessons based on kitchen measures and garden hose lengths. I want them to grow good things as they 'grow good' themselves. I want them to know what sharing goodness feels like.<br />
<br />
I wanted to have a booth at the farmer's market this year, but in the end decided it wasn't the right thing for us. What we're planning to do instead is be 'open' here saturday and sunday mornings with fresh produce and snacks and my sewing projects waiting at the end of the lane. Ideally we would have started already, but life has a way of getting away on you. In the next few weeks we hope to be back on track, and I hope that those in the area can come say hi :)<br />
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<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-14018759138076193532014-05-29T18:01:00.001-07:002014-08-11T11:31:08.873-07:00The 'S' WordSocialization...<br />
<br />
Lately, while shopping with Toby on a weekday, I've been getting random people coming up and making a 'pleasant' remark about 'skipping school with mom today'.<br />
I awkwardly laugh, while Toby pretends they don't exist, and say that we homeschool.<br />
Surprisingly, over half the people I say that to think it's awesome and tell Toby how lucky he is (remember, these are random strangers who initially came across as being accusatory), and roll their eyes to me and say something along the lines of 'They make them start school too young anyways'.<br />
The other half kind stand for a moment unsure of what to say and usually end up saying something along the lines of 'ooooh' and then 'Do you think you'll send him next year?' and then 'I guess, as long as he's getting enough socialization...'<br />
<br />
I have to bite my tongue in front of Toby because I don't want to turn it into a big deal, or make him feel shamed, or embarrass myself. So I shrug and smile and just say we're having fun with it for now, and then leave quickly.<br />
<br />
For one thing, I have no idea if I'll send him next year or not. It's kind of up to him. And asking a 5 year old to make up their mind 6 months in advance is a pointless burden. Yes, I'd like him to go. Yes, I'd like the time to myself. However, I wasn't really getting time to myself last fall anyway. I have to be up early, and at the school on time, and back home at a certain time, and it all flew by too quickly. Now we can stay home if we want, or spend the whole day in town if we want. I can work extra days or work late if someone's around to look after Toby, or because of the nature of my job, I can just take him with me for a few hours.<br />
<br />
As far as the dreaded 'S' word...<br />
My biggest fears going into this was socialization and math.<br />
The math fear went away pretty quickly after reading some really re-assuring articles about primary math lessons (after that though, I'm still nervous), but the socialization worry comes and goes depending on how things are going. Some weeks I'm in knots over the fact that we haven't interacted with any kids in, like, forever. Other weeks I think....so?....he's fine.<br />
<br />
Having one of the former-type weeks, I happened upon <a href="http://simplehomeschool.net/friends/" target="_blank">this blog</a> on a website that has constantly been the soothing emotional back rub that I need on this journey.<br />
If you're one of those people like me who aren't intending on clicking over to read the blog, It's on Simplehomeschool.net and it's a great eye roll at the notion that homeschool kids are missing out on being 'social'. Honestly I feel like writing more is redundant because that blog says everything I feel.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I got thinking a lot about what socialization actually means, and why western civilization seems to think that the only way to get it is in a room of 30 kids your own age.<br />
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<h2 class="me" data-syllable="so·cial·i·za·tion" style="color: black; display: inline; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
so·cial·i·za·tion</h2>
<span style="bottom: 1ex; font-size: 0.75em; height: 0px; line-height: 1; position: relative; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> <span class="pronset"><span audio="http://static.sfdict.com/dictstatic/dictionary/audio/luna/S06/S0679500.mp3" default="http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/lunaWAV/S06/S0679500"></span> <span class="show_spellpr" style="display: inline;"><span class="prondelim" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[</span><span class="pron" style="display: inline; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">soh-sh<span class="ital-inline" style="display: inline; font-family: Georgia, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: italic;">uh</span>-l<span class="ital-inline" style="display: inline; font-family: Georgia, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: italic;">uh</span>-<span class="boldface" style="font-weight: 700;">zey</span>-sh<span class="ital-inline" style="display: inline; font-family: Georgia, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: italic;">uh</span><img alt="" border="0" class="luna-Img" src="http://static.sfdict.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png" style="border: 0px; vertical-align: text-top;" /><img alt="" border="0" class="luna-Img" src="http://static.sfdict.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png" style="border: 0px; vertical-align: text-top;" />n</span><span class="prondelim" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">]</span> <a class="questionmark" href="http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html" style="background: url(http://static.sfdict.com/en/i/dictionary/newserp/Sprite_New.png) -176px -215px repeat scroll transparent; color: #333333; display: inline-block; font-size: small; height: 16px; position: relative; top: 2px; width: 16px;" target="_blank"></a> <span class="pron_toggle" style="display: inline;"><a alt="Toggle for IPA" class="pronlink" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="color: #999999; cursor: pointer; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; margin-left: 11px; text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to show IPA">Show IPA</a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="pg" style="display: inline; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; padding-right: 3px;"><span id="hotword"><span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">noun</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="dnindex" style="color: #7b7b7b; display: block; float: left; font-weight: bold; width: 28px;"><span id="hotword">1.</span></span><br />
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<span id="hotword"><span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">a</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">continuing</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">process</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">whereby</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">an</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">individual</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">acquires</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">a</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">personal</span> </span><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/identity" style="color: #333333;">identity</a><span id="hotword"> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">and</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">learns</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">the</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">norms,</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">values,</span><span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">behavior,</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">and</span> </span><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/social" style="color: #333333;">social</a><span id="hotword"> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">skills</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">appropriate</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">to</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">his</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">or</span> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">her</span> </span><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/social" style="color: #333333;">social</a><span id="hotword"> <span class="hwc" id="hotword" name="hotword">position.</span></span></div>
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Hmm...Nothing about the necessity to be with 200+ peers while learning this.<br />
<br />
I TOTALLY get how it can be good to be in situations like that for kids to get used to instruction and listening and dealing with chaos, etc. I know some kids crave being in a big group. And small parts of me still wishes Toby would just...go...but then I know how anxious he gets when confronted with chaos. I know That he takes his time eating good food, and can't finish his lunch in the 15 minutes they're allotted. I know he takes a LONG time to warm up to things.<br />
Which, at the time, were all reasons I wanted him to be in school - to 'snap out of it'.<br />
Now I see how happy he his daily and how much he's actually learned in the last year.<br />
<br />
If socialization is about learning about identity, values, behavior and social skills....I think we're good.<br />
<br />
<b>Identity:</b> Toby has started to be particular about what he wears, even down to his underwear matching his pajamas. He changes from 'play clothes' to 'town clothes' if we go somewhere in the middle of the day... a notion that used to make him kick and scream until mommy decided that we really didn't need that chicken for dinner after all, or finally gave in and dragged a dirty, barefoot, pajama-clad toddler to the grocery store.<br />
He knows what he's in to and what he likes to eat. He has a favourite colour. He knows he's 5 and a half. He knows he's a boy and is drawn to very boyish things. He knows who everyone in his family is and who he is in relation to them.<br />
<br />
<b>Values</b>: We talk frequently about acceptance and responsibility and the environment. It was Toby's idea to pick up litter on our road on Earth Day. He still comments (and has since he was two) whenever he sees garbage on the ground that he wishes people would just learn to put things in a garbage can. He's very helpful and caring. He knows the value of home-grown food. He's asked if we can plant a bee/butterfly garden to give a place for the bees to go that's not near where we play where they will be happy.<br />
<br />
<b>Behavior</b>: I always said I'd never ever bring my kids to a restaurant until they were at least 6. I had witnessed too many meltdowns and embarrassing behaviors while out to dinner through my teens.<br />
However Toby's first taste of 'eating out' began when he was about 9 months old. Yes, he crawled all over me, but then he nursed and settled down. Then I read him a book. Then the waitress brought him his own bowl of (free) cucumber slices to suck on. A few months after that he was introduced to the merriment of french fries. He's grown up knowing how to be patient and behave in a restaurant setting, without me ever having to raise my voice or threaten to never come back.<br />
He frequently grocery shops with me and has always preferred sitting in the buggy to walking beside me because he can see things better from up high. Including him in this task has taught him to behave and be patient while things get done.<br />
Behavior also isn't just about being quiet and patient. It can be about knowing when to run and be silly. He knows grass is for running. He knows slides are for racing and laughing. He knows that being among other kids means waiting his turn and not climbing up the slides or running in front of the swings.<br />
<br />
<b>Social Skills</b>: While he still is hesitant to strike up a conversation with strangers (which is maybe a GOOD thing) he talks non-stop at home, using gestures, expressions, and eye-contact.<br />
He has ALWAYS shied away from people in public, but as my mom keeps reminding me, I did too. I still do. But that doesn't make me anti-social and it doesn't mean Toby is doomed. He's only 5.<br />
I admit I've been frustrated with him. Sometimes I want him to just acknowledge a friendly hello, or walk two feet away from me and play instead of insisting I be glued to him indefinitely. I think part of my reason for wanting him to go to school was so he would just not be touching me for a few hours.<br />
The last two weeks, however, have been a pleasant surprise for me. After weeks of moodiness and clinginess and suspected growing pains, he's quietly transformed into this different person.<br />
<br />
He gets himself dressed entirely on his own instead of flopping and whining on the couch that he needs me to do it. He goes and plays outside on his own which it a TOTALLY foreign concept in this house, and I love it. He spent the entire day with Anthony while I was at work and they even had a play date, in which Toby was allegedly polite and co-operative to the other kids/adults. Yesterday he walked away to find a table to eat at while I waited for our 'fast food'. He has never EVER walked more than a few feet from me in a restaurant, let alone wandered across a room of strangers without asking me to come. He did the same thing at a small grocery store we were in - he volunteered to put the buggy away, and wove through two lines of people to do so. He wanted to buy something at another shop we were in and used his own money and marched up to the cashier by himself to do so.<br />
Like.... who is this kid? And can he stay around a while?<br />
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There's nothing in the definition of 'socialization' that implies you have to be in a giant group of your own age to learn any of these things. Yes, playing with other kids is fun and different than playing with your parents, but should that be a thing that's forced if they don't want to be in that situation?<br />
Kids who end up homeschooling end up interacting with a more diverse age range of 'peers'. They learn early on about household responsibilities and how to carry them out. I think maybe they can end up having more respect for their elders and what they do, than you can ever learn in school.<br />
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I'm not at all criticizing those kids in school, or the parents who send them. I know there are certain things that you can't truly understand until you're faced with a situation. Up until last November I was adamantly against myself homeschooling. There was NO WAY it would work out.<br />
There was also NO WAY I would ever co-sleep with my kids, before I had a kid...<br />
There was also NO WAY I would nurse past age 2, before I had a two year old...<br />
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Different things work for different people.<br />
This is what works right now.<br />
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And I think we're kicking 'socialization' in the butt.<br />
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Don't forget, if you like what you're reading, click the "Mommy Blogs Approved" widget to the left to automatically 'vote up' my blog. You can click once per day if you wish. Thanks!Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-4802455642468636262014-05-11T18:18:00.000-07:002014-08-11T11:31:32.797-07:00One Thing Leads to Another<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One thing I do like about homeschooling is that we can make a lesson out of anything, and what started out as one thing can turn into another. At Easter, Toby dyed eggs for the first time. Since then he continuously crawls up on the counter and starts poking at the box of food colouring (that STILL hasn't been cleaned up.... sigh...), or coming out to where I'm working with the bottles in his hands asking if we can do more science with them.</div>
So ok fine, I poked through some books and online for colour mixing experiments and came across this <a href="http://teachbesideme.com/rainbow-science-absorption/" target="_blank">paper towel one</a>. The outline on the site just used a few colours, but I figured we'd do a whole colour mixing lesson. Once Toby figured out which were the primary colours, he coloured one of each on each side of our rows.<br />
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Next we tented paper towel from the coloured cups into the empty cups. We watched the colour crawl slowly up the paper towels and noted that the paper towel was wet before the colour crept up, which meant that somehow the paper towel is separating out the water from the food colouring, which my inner geek finds FASCINATING.... I'm sure there's a 4th grade science fair project in there somewhere...<br />
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It took about an hour or so, but finally the colours made it up over the hill to mix at the bottom of the empty cups. We talked about how the paper towel was kind of like a straw or a sponge and it sucked everything wet up until there were no more dry spaces.<br />
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I asked Toby what else soaked up water like a straw.</div>
"Umm... me drinking with a straw."<br />
"Yes, but what ACTS like a straw, and brings water up from the ground?"<br />
"Mmmmm... plant roots?"<br />
"And what do you think would happen if we gave all our plants coloured water instead of clean water?"<br />
"I dunno, nothing? Would they turn colours? CAN WE DO THAT?"<br />
"Dunno, let's try!"<br />
So off we went to town to find some white flowers, and more food dye.<br />
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When we came home several hours later the paper towel colours looked amazing.</div>
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So now armed with a completed colour mixing palette, we mixed colours again and put them in rainbow order...</div>
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And added our daisies.<br />
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After several hours we only had a faint tint at best, which was a little dissapointing. Even after an over-night they didnt look much better.<br />
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Then I actually read online instructions for how to do it right, and apparently warm water makes the colour absorb faster, and I had used cold water before. This time I also used half the water and twice the food colouring to guarantee some results. After a few hours we noticed a big difference, and after 24 hours the results were spectacular.<br />
(My inner geek would also like to note that in the case of orange and purple, the plant separated out the mixed colours at first, with the tips of the petals taking the lighter primary, and the centre of the flower taking the dark. The longer we waited the more they mixed though)<br />
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Toby the asked if we could do the coloured baking soda and vinegar fizzies again. I don't mind doingit but went online again for other ideas and came across <a href="http://www.blogmemom.com/science-experiments-kids-rainbow-lemon-eruptions/" target="_blank">this blog</a>.</div>
Though the science behind it isn't really explained, I would assume that by mixing the baking soda and epsom salts, the baking soda would react, but the epsom salts make it last longer. Also the lemon juice acts as the acid and smells way better than vinegar.<br />
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Some small fizzies at first....</div>
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Then we got more confident in our fizzing..<br />
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Then we thought we should make prints like we've done with coloured dish soap bubbles. The dried result was pretty cool because the baking soda and salt dried with the colours and made little star patterns.</div>
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Then we got carried away....</div>
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And Toby wanted to know what it felt like to have baking soda explode in his hands. (this was just from a small dusting he had leftover on his fingers and a ton of lemon juice)<br />
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So we 'accidentally' packed in science, art, play, problem solving and math into the past week.... makes up for being outside 'doing nothing' this week :P<br />
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If you guys like what you're reading, click on the Mommy Blogs widget to the left to 'vote up' this blog! You can do it once a day, everyday if you wish.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-4654236996606995122014-05-01T16:44:00.000-07:002014-08-11T11:31:55.535-07:00Wordless Wednesday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-44337884338924601432014-04-22T18:18:00.003-07:002014-08-11T13:19:37.521-07:00Easter and Earth DayIt seems the monotony of the last month has caught up to us... or maybe it's because the snow's gone... but the last few days have been packed full of activities.<br />
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We don't usually do much for Easter. We used to decorate eggs like crazy when I was younger and we've dried them and kept them because some of them are pretty outstanding, but because Toby is allergic to eggs I've never really pushed the egg decorating thing.</div>
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This year though, he's old enough to look at it as an art project and not just as something he's left out of eating.</div>
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First of all he reminded me that we bought baby animal cookie cutters to make Easter cookies, so we did that. He keeps staring at these photos of ornate cookies and lamenting that we never put icing on ours, so we decided to paint-ice these ones.<br />
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A lesson in colour mixing before we begin.</div>
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Our masterpieces.</div>
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After our eatable eggs were painted, we coloured our real eggs.<br />
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Toby's first time dying Easter eggs.</div>
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I wanted to use natural dyes, but didn't plan ahead on this one at all so I scrounged together what I had. I found some frozen blueberries that we used for blue/purple, we used tumeric for yellow, and I tried to used some leftover artichoke water for green, but when you mixed in the vinegar (to act as a fixative on the eggs) it turned a horrible shade of apple juice.... so we used green food dye for green...</div>
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Ended up looking pretty good!</div>
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(Toby's favourite colour is green, can you tell?)</div>
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I hard boiled the eggs, foreseeing one being dropped, which it did. Toby was mortified, but I said it was ok because we could do something cool with it.</div>
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This <a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/342418/spiderweb-eggs" target="_blank">Martha Stewart Spiderweb Egg</a>s idea is in a book I have, so we tried it.<br />
You're supposed to cook the eggs with the blueberries, so ours wasn't as dark, but still cool!</div>
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Because we used vinegar in the egg dye, Toby eventually piped up "Isn't vinegar supposed to explode or something when you put stuff in it?"<br />
I confirmed that he meant baking soda, so we experimented with the leftover dye and a big bowl of baking soda.</div>
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SCIENCE!</div>
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The reason I've included Earth Day in this post is because Toby, knowing that the eggs we did would need to be broken so we could eat them before they went bad, still didn't want to get rid of the shells. <br />
I said they're hard to take off in one piece when they're boiled.<br />
He said he knew that, but maybe we could make an art project out of them instead of throwing them out.</div>
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So today he drew a picture of the Earth and we made an egg shell mosaic.</div>
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Our Earth Day activities also included a clean up of the road in front of our house and discussions about littering and looking after the planet.<br />
We thought we'd maybe wander around and get a couple grocery bags of trash, but we ended up with 6 grocery bags, plus three garbage bags we found in a ravine and a bucket full of dried cement. GROSS PEOPLE.</div>
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Happy Earth day everyone!</div>
Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-27590705398719475352014-04-10T18:32:00.003-07:002014-08-11T11:34:44.013-07:00The Lego Homeschooling MethodI found my scheduling calendar the other day for all the notes and things I wanted to do with Toby while homeschooling.<br />
The word 'found' maybe indicates how long it's been since I've opened it.<br />
I looked inside and my chest sank as I realized I hadn't made notes since the end of February. We were going to do 'green' projects for St.Patrick's Day and the first day of Spring. We were going to do seed sprouting prior to planting our early peppers so we could see how seeds grow. We were going to talk about trees and maple syrup, but it was too cold at the time for the sap to be flowing.<br />
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What the heck had we done for the entire month of March? I felt busy, we must have done... something?<br />
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Then I clued in. Toby had been bitten by the Lego bug. All we had done the last month was Lego, lunch, Lego, outside (maybe), Lego, dinner, Lego.<br />
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I felt a sinking feeling again as I looked at his word and math sheets that had all but been abandoned over the last several weeks.<br />
We HAD to get back into a routine....right??<br />
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I left the office to find Toby, again, at the table with a tray of Lego in front of him. <br />
Our current obsession is a create-and-rebuild Lego truck set, and Mixels. <br />
If you haven't heard of Mixels, it's these little Lego creatures that have three to a 'tribe' and nine to a series. If you have all three form the same 'tribe' you can find instructions online to make a big guy from all of their pieces. If you have all the guys from the series you can do infinite mix variations with all the pieces from them.<br />
For my 8 year old self, this would have been a terrible idea since I treasured every Lego thing I built, and played with it as a toy, never daring to take it apart again.<br />
For Toby though, this is brilliant. He's constantly inventing things in his head and trying to draw them and taking things apart JUST so he can put them back together.<br />
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He proudly showed me his new characters and told me all about the things they do to help the other Mixels. It finally hit me as I sat and listened to him for the hundredth time just how GOOD his designs were. Every character was different. Every time.<br />
Maybe... just maybe... he was actually learning something...<br />
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Here's what I've finally figured out, just by watching him. <br />
He's learning:<br />
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<b>Engineering</b>: the most obvious Lego skill. Everything is trial and error, and every time he makes a mistake, he makes the design better. Supports, locks, braces, everything in the right place to make the design work.<br />
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<b>Counting</b>: '2-piece' '4-piece' '6-piece' '4-cube' 'single-square/circle' and 'two-ramp' have all become common parts of our vocabulary when playing. Being able to sight-see those number figures, as well as count how many pieces you need, is something that used to take ages, and now happens almost instantaneously.<br />
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<b>Colour:</b> Again, obvious with Lego, but we're learning new colours like burgundy, gold, and the difference between dark grey and light grey.<br />
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<b>Balance</b>: Both structurally and artistically. Sometimes the creations are symmetrical, and other times they're not, but he's always figuring out that it can't be too heavy on one side, or that he needs another piece to even it out.<br />
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<b>Following direction</b>: 6 months ago he would get through 4-6 steps of Lego instructions, with help, before either skipping ahead or wanting to do something else. Last week he followed online instructions, start to finish, 30 something steps, with no help at all, except to ask for a few pieces he couldn't find.<br />
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<b>Focus</b>: Hand-in-hand with the last point, his ability to focus on something for more than 10 minutes has increased SIGNIFICANTLY.<br />
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<b>Fine motor skills:</b> What he got frustrated and cried about a few months ago, he now does with determination, accuracy and care.<br />
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<b>Hand-eye co-ordination</b>: He used to hand-off Lego pieces to me that "Just don't work" after one try, and now builds with precision and speed.<br />
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<b>Physics</b>: "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction". ie: when you push a piece down really hard on one side, and the other side isn't braced, everything smashes and/or flies across the room.<br />
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<b>Creativity</b>: When he first looked at all the lose pieces and began sticking them together, he gave up pretty quickly without instructions. Now every time he makes something it sparks an idea for something else and his general creative instinct grows stronger. Today he told he in immense detail a scene he wanted me to make out of food for his snack, and what foods I should use. He's never done that before.<br />
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This is a tow truck with a spare tire and special turbo jets so it can haul heavier loads, and flames shooting out the back so it can melt the ice on the roads on slippery days.</div>
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The big guy is the combonation of the three red guys.<br />
The one on the left I started, and Toby figured out the rest.</div>
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More guys</div>
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The two on the right were started by Anthony.<br />
Toby did the rest.</div>
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The three 'Max' combination guys, and little friends Toby made out of the extra pieces.</div>
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The three grey guys that Toby followed the instructions for, almost all by himself.</div>
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More made-up critters</div>
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So, what do you think? Is 'The Lego homeschooling method' a thing?<br />
<br />Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-69028084305497339372014-03-21T13:24:00.003-07:002014-08-11T11:35:39.252-07:00Mom OlympicsWith the wrap up of the Olympics for another few years, I thought I'd pitch my idea for some Olympic events, specifically for parents.<br />
How many events would you enter? What are you the best at?<br />
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<b>Event 1 - The Floor Routine:</b> Participants are put in an enclosed ring with 100 tiny Lego pieces, 100 Rice Crispies, 20 Marbles, 10 dust bunnies and an eleven-month-old. Clean the floor in the fastest time to win. Points are deducted if the baby eats some cereal. Disqualification occurs if the baby obtains any of the other items.<br />
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<b>Event 2 - The Multi Task</b>: Participants must make their way through a course of randomly placed Duplo bricks, while holding an overflowing laundry basket, talking with phone tucked under one ear, and balancing the smoothie you just made on top of the laundry basket. Points are deducted for each stumble. Disqualification occurs if you drop anything. The stairs in the last leg of the course have brought down many-a professional.<br />
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<b>Event 3 - The Stress Test</b>: Participants are placed in an enclosed room with a dog, a two year old who is an hour overdue for a nap, a six-month old, and one broken toy. Whoever lasts longest without losing their mind wins.<br />
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<b>Event 4 - The Biathlon</b>: Participants jog on track with jogging stroller. At each check point participant must stop, change baby's diaper, and toss diaper into appropriate receptacle. A missed shot results in a one minute penalty added to their time. <br />
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<b>Event 5 - Backwards Day</b>: Participants bend to the whims of a 5 year old through a backwards obstacle course. Participants must successfully build a Lego set with the instructions upside-down, crawl backwards through a fabric play tunnel, run backwards through a series of hula hoops, and sing any nursery rhyme backwards that the child comes up with. Points deducted for hesitation or inaccuracy.<br />
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<b>Event 6 - Silence</b>: Participants are faced with a hallway rigged with laser alarms. Crossing a laser will sound an alarm and wake the baby, resulting in disqualification. Maneuver the hallway as quickly and accurately as you can. Follow up events require you to be holding either a bowl of cereal or glass of wine. Lose points for spilling, disqualified for sounding alarm.<br />
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<b>Event 7 - Strategical Lifting</b>: Unload a car load of groceries, diaper bag, sleeping eight-month-old, and bag of new baby clothes in one trip. Points deducted if baby wakes up before you make it to the house. Disqualification if you drop anything.<br />
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<b>Event 8 - Wrestling</b>: Change a dirty diaper on a mobile toddler in the fastest time. Points deducted for diaper contents spilled. Disqualification if toddler escapes the arena unchanged.<br />
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<b>Event 9 - The Dash:</b> Participants are handed a container filled with contents resembling vomit, set to explode on a timer. Proceed to dash through hurdles course and land container safely in designated area before contents erupt.<br />
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<b>Event 10 - Triathlon</b>: Participants engage in a grueling bed-time routine. First leg of the race is bath time where child kicks/splashes/plays/screams while participants try not to get soap in their eyes. When the baby is dried and dressed they proceed to the second leg of the race, which is the bicycle portion. Ride around track with baby in bicycle car seat until baby falls asleep before proceeding to last leg of the race. Once baby is asleep, remove baby from bicycle car seat and speed walk to the finish line without the baby waking up.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-88777081772216416002014-02-13T16:20:00.006-08:002014-08-11T11:36:12.872-07:00Homeschool: Olympic week.I think I"m going to try to post once a month about homeschooling just to make myself feel like we're accomplishing things.<br />
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After not doing much of anything for a while, THE OLYMPICS CAME.<br />
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Our family has always watched the Olympics. Always. We're not huge sports fans, but something about the Olympics is exciting.<br />
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Leading up to the opening ceremonies we talked about the Games, and Russia, and Canada.<br />
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We've also realized that Toby's <strike>obsession</strike> love of mazes translates well into map reading. After looking at the globe for a while, we pulled out some local maps and Toby and Grampa developed a game of "If you're here and want to go there, what's the best way?" Also a built in scavenger hunt to find all the churches/boat launches/schools/walking trails/parks listed in the legend.</div>
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We read a few book about Russia...</div>
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...and Toby thought the 'onion roof' label for the architecture style was hilarious, so we decided to make a Russian building</div>
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We used masking tape instead of paper mache because mess. And this was faster.</div>
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Lots of painting to be done</div>
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Pretty good!! The only thing I did was the white lines, because certain other little people insisted that I put my touch on it.</div>
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We watched the entirety of the Opening Ceremonies, which I wasn't expecting Toby to sit thought, but he did!</div>
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Grama and Toby made Olympic cookies</div>
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We're recording Canadian medal standings</div>
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We went skating (Toby for the first time) to get an idea of how much work it takes to work up to the jumps that the figure skaters do.</div>
Needless to say, Toby opted for the sleigh ride after about a minute.<br />
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Things I've leaned this month: </div>
There's a two hour window of opportunity to actually do book-work between dinner and bed. The rest of the day, don't even try to convince him.<br />
Toby is quite possibly going to go to the Olympics for long jump. He's jumping about a meter or more from standing at age 5. In the summer I'm going to start actually measuring and not just counting squares on my rug.<br />
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Toby can do mazes in seconds.</div>
Winter is lasting a long...long time...Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-49431852342824166942014-01-16T18:18:00.003-08:002014-08-11T11:36:37.429-07:00Hi, I'm 5. (Also 100th post!)Hi there. I'm a 5 year old.<br />
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You know that food I've liked since the day I could eat and ask for all the time and can't get enough of? Yeah, well I don't like it anymore.<br />
Also, I don't care how much cocoa powder you put in the smoothie, it only tastes good when sipped through a green straw.<br />
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I used to like helping you in the kitchen? Oh, well, I will I guess... If there are chocolate chips involved.<br />
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Contrary to your belief, NOBODY writes in lower case letters anymore, and the letter 'E' does indeed have six lines protruding from it. You just don't know anything.<br />
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That Hotwheels car I just got? I can't find it. I was only playing with it RIGHT HERE and NOWHERE ELSE, and now it's GONE. Oh...yeah that's it, I thought something felt funny under my leg.<br />
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Speaking of cars, we're going to make one today ok? I have plans right here. We just need some metal and wood and stuff from the attic. Maybe some string.<br />
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Go Outside???!! I don't care that I wanted to 5 minutes ago, THAT WAS BEFORE YOU PUT MY SOCKS ON THE WRONG FEET!<br />
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Go Inside???!!?? Frostbite is a myth, get your facts straight, mom.<br />
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I don't believe you when you say that I used to love washing my hands and playing in the sink. Sink water is like snake venom and soap is like acid and I will not use either, and I'm pretty sure you're just making up these 'germ' things you keep speaking of.<br />
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Yes, I'll absolutely turn the TV off after this next show... Oh wait, I meant this one... Awwww I forgot this was on today!...Ok ok for sure after this....one.....um.... can I have a snack?<br />
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OH YEAH, I have the FUNNIEST joke ever for you... ok, Knock knock (who's there) Lamp (Lamp who?) PFFFFTTT not LAAAAMP, I said SLAAAMMMMPPP. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ok ok, here's another one...<br />
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I don't know why I went through a phase of only wearing button-up shirts. You shouldn't have let yourself get over-excited, because now I hate them, and I'm pretty sure this t-shirt looks way better than anything I own to wear to that wedding in the spring.<br />
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I CAN DO THINGS MYSELF. GO AWAY. DON'T HELP ME. I CAN'T DO THIS. I NEED HELP.<br />
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Yeah I like bedtime because I like books and cuddling, but some nights I'm pretty sure that my bed is a portal to the underworld and if I don't stay up for several more hours screaming that I'm not done playing yet, I'm going to get sucked into the evil vortex of sleep.<br />
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Yes I like bubble baths. No you may not wash my hair. Yes I enjoy repeatedly dumping this bucket of water on my head.<br />
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There's a thing crawling on the other side of the room and I can't go in that room at ALL until you go catch the horrible crawly thing, but please don't hurt him, he's so cute, can we name him and keep him in a jar as a pet?Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-64560705412540436432014-01-10T15:36:00.000-08:002014-08-11T11:37:51.955-07:00Adventures in Homeschooling?Depending on my mood the word 'homeschooling' is either this huge floaty relief of a word, or a giant lead elephant climbing up my back.<br />
I'm still not sure which it really is.<br />
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I still think I feel the need to over-plan things. I feel the need to 'be a teacher' and make everything about learning. I keep trying to cram his head full of educational things that he probably doesn't need to know until grade 1 or 2.<br />
I have to keep reminding myself that a) he's only in kindergarten, and b) that's not necessarily the point of homeschooling.<br />
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However I do know I need to have some level of planning so make myself feel like we're accomplishing something.<br />
I've made a calendar full of theme weeks that will at least give ME a starting place. Each day I write on the calendar what we did so that when I have moments of hopelessness I can at least look back at the proof that something was accomplished.<br />
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This week's theme was 'snow'. Conveniently it snowed over 2 feet, so we had a lot to look at.<br />
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We made winter scenes on our windows<br />
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This one is a blue firework exploding into the shape of a guy flying an airplane.<br />
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We made snowman prints with cookie cutters and talked about 'biggest to smallest'.<br />
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We made snowflake cookies.<br />
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We talked about what snow is and how snowflakes are made.<br />
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We read snowy day type books.<br />
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We tried to freeze bubbles outside, but the best we got was a cold wobbly bubble that imploded in the wind.<br />
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We went snowshoeing.<br />
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We recorded the french words for 'snow', 'ice', and 'cold', because Toby seems obsessed at the moment with knowing the french words for everything.<br />
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We did some train track engineering<br />
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We made a snow castle out of toilet paper tubes and egg carton, but according to Toby it's now a stage for his cars to perform plays on (or people too if they want, he's just corrected me)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjojIMZcu-dIHH5W0LRmTMH10KFepuioEx7z8TCdd6iAj6Rpr4jPFwJhLE9cEvkWNIdnA2j8VAdzpqHmHybU1ZSsKPjujgEkbNXzK0qu9RG5V6nKeGsFne5RqsAuqRnbv4Cz-ev4qxcyD9G/s1600/Jan+14+2.6+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjojIMZcu-dIHH5W0LRmTMH10KFepuioEx7z8TCdd6iAj6Rpr4jPFwJhLE9cEvkWNIdnA2j8VAdzpqHmHybU1ZSsKPjujgEkbNXzK0qu9RG5V6nKeGsFne5RqsAuqRnbv4Cz-ev4qxcyD9G/s1600/Jan+14+2.6+004.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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So far I've learned that Toby loves science, likes number and math stuff, and really doesn't like lower case letters. Or being asked to try new letters at all. Unless he's making a card for someone.<br />
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It's only week one and part of me feels like I've overdone it, and part of me feels un-accomplished.<br />
I supposed we both have a lot to learn.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-19828044168603882812013-12-20T08:24:00.000-08:002014-08-11T11:38:20.826-07:00The Things I've Said...Things I've said I'd never do that somehow seem to have happened....<br />
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- Have kids<br />
- Get a tattoo<br />
- Get married before I'm 23<br />
- Get divorced<br />
- Breastfeed (maybe not totally true, I just didn't think I could so I wasn't getting my hopes up)<br />
- Co-sleep with my kids<br />
- Take my kids to a restaurant before they're 4<br />
- Live at my parents past college<br />
- Have my own business<br />
- HomeschoolErinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2388411908298247286.post-33603911518316056972013-12-06T16:37:00.002-08:002014-08-11T11:38:41.738-07:00PerspectiveThinking about the whole Toby drama thing... and a thought came to me... A comparison of actions...An analogy....albeit maybe an extreme one...but one that hits it for me..<br />
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Why do I want Toby to go to school? Because I just...<i>want</i> him to. I want him to enjoy it like I did. I want him to make friends. I don't want to let people down by taking him out. I want him to be 'normal'.<br />
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Why doesn't he want to go? Because, he's told me over and over, there are too many kids. It's too noisy. And so it's not fun.<br />
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I tell him/myself that he'll grow out of it. He'll come around. He'll get used to it. It's fun when you're there, you've just forgotten.<br />
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But now... What if, instead of talking about school, we were talking about him being gay.<br />
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Would I still say those things to him? No. If his future-self confided in me and I said "I hear you, but you're wrong, don't worry you'll come around." what kind of a person would that make me?<br />
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School shapes your whole life, and right now, to him, school means stress and anxiety and fighting with mom. Do I want that? <br />
Yes, he's 5. Yes he might change his mind about school. But is it worth ignoring his feelings right now?<br />
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Food for thought.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17307826724573377089noreply@blogger.com0