The Suckiest Day That Ever Sucked

Toby had a doctors appointment today for a pre-op physical so he can get anesthesia next week for his dental work.
The plan was: Appointment, Lunch with Jeff downtown, Zehrs, home.

What actually happened was this:
Show up at appointment EXACTLY on time, not earlier because I know they usually get behind before lunch, and this was my small attempt to minimize wait time without being 'late'.
Toby is delightfully springy and goes right over to the books and toys (we haven't been to the doctors in well over a year, since he had his last shots, but he still seemed comfortable enough).
I hand over Toby's health card and go to sit down when the girl at reception goes "Umm... this is expired."
"Uhhhh, what?"
"His card expired in November....2010...."
"Seriously??!!! I never received ANYTHING in the mail about renewing it... I didn't even think to check.."
"Hold on we'll call OHIP and see if he's still in the system. Otherwise he's not going to be covered for his appointment today"

Fantastic.

So we read books. And they made some phone calls. And I was informed that Toby was no longer covered by OHIP. And that the appointment should be less that $75 because that was the adult rate...
I asked if they took Mastercard.
They said that they could only take cash because usually they don't deal with payments directly at the office.
I said oh.
They said I could run to the bank or something after, they'd trust me for it.
I said I didn't even know what I had in my account and I might have to go find my mom downtown.
They said that was fine, I could come in later this week too if I needed. I should get reimbursed once his health card was renewed.

I'm nearly in tears at this point and my heart rate has skyrocketed and the pain in my chest that never really went away from last week is now threatening to make a comeback.
I sat down and read to Toby, trying desperately not to make my voice show how frustrated I am for the rest of the waiting room to hear.
We read.
And read.
And read.
And read.
It's now been an hour beyond our appointment time.
We read another book.
They finally called us in.
Toby now wants nothing to do with being here. We had talked about standing on the scale just like at home, and seeing how tall he was, just like at home.
Except the scale in the doctors office has a big stick thing coming out of the back, and thus is NOTHING like the one at home. Toby screamed. Toby sobbed.
I'm beyond pissed now, and just want to get this over with so I force him back on and beg him to just stand still for 30 seconds. He leeches to my leg.
The girl quietly says that she can weigh me and then I can hold him for the difference. So I stand on the scale and Toby screams like I've just jumped off the side of a boat. He thankfully doesn't try to climb on me, so they actually got a weight. I then picked up Toby and he sobbed the whole time they weighed us.
Then they had to see how tall he was. I had to pin him against the wall with my leg.
Then they had to take his blood pressure, except now he's completely worked up.
So I had to let him nurse to calm down so they could velcro the cuff around his arm.
Then the doctor came in, and he seemed just as tired and hungry as us. He tried to listen to Toby's heart, which is hard when the person you are trying to listen to is screaming MUMMY PICK ME UP, even though he's already in my lap.
Finally we got out of there.
At this point it was now too late to meet Jeff for lunch because he had to work, but we went to Brewery Bay anyway because we both needed a break. I called my mom when we were there and vented my anger at the day and asked if she could go to the bank so I could take money back to the doctor's office.

After lunch we went to the licencing office to get Toby's card renewed.
We didn't have to wait long, thank goodness.
The lady asked if I had filled out the forms. I said no, because I was just sent here from my doctor's office.
She gave the form to me, I filled it out, she asked for two pieces of ID... and...oh.... Do you have his birth certificate on you?
Um, no.
Well, apparently they need to verify citizenship before issuing a health card EVEN THOUGH HE HAS ONE ALREADY WHICH HE NEEDED HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE TO APPLY FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE SO CLEARLY HE'S AN ONTARIO CITIZEN.

To quote Homer Simpson: "These guys are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

Whatever.

We went back to the doctor's to give them the money.
We went to Zehrs to get groceries.
We spent way longer and way more money than anticipated, but now I hopefully won't have to do a major trip until after Christmas.
We picked up some empty cookie tins from Grandma-Net and Opa's, and had a nice break looking at their tree and light-up village.
Then we went home. In the dark.
4 people passed me on the way home, one tailing me for an unnecessary amount of time. (I'M SORRY FOR ONLY DOING 95 IN AN 80 IN THE PITCH DARK).
And upon getting home I realized I had forgotten to give the Christmas card to Grandma-Net and Opa that I had placed in my purse three days ago in anticipation of going there today.

I asked Toby if he wanted pasta or pizza for dinner.
He said pizza.
I made frozen gluten free pizza.
He came to the table, said 'No, not that' and began to pout.
Whatever. Don't eat. I'm hungry.
He eventually ate half a piece and some carrots and dip.

#is it bedtime yet?
#end rant