Friday, November 18, 2011

Today Has Been Brought to You by the Letter S and the Number 3

(So this was actually yesterday, but I didn't have time to finish writing last night)

-Look, there's Snow!
- We can go Shovel it!
- Look out mom while I Stab your eye to make you wake up faster
- Sob-Screaming commences after mom expresses her displeasure at being Stabbed in the face
- Stumble out of bed
- After a long and whiny morning, Toby insists he wants to go Sledding.
- Refuses to put Snowpants on
- Settle for insulated 'outside' pants, with the understanding that we can't play in the snow because they won't keep us dry.
- Look, Mommy is wearing HER nice Snowpants....
- 'Shooing' the cats proves to be more fun than doing any actual Snow Stuff
- Please Stop Toby
- Sly and impish behavior brings on threats of a time-out
- Stomping and Screaming commences
- Here Toby, let's SHOVEL!
- Shovel becomes new 'Shooing' instrument for cats.
- Mom attempts to distract by trying to build another Snowman
- Toby remembers he wanted to go Sledding
- Mom insists that we need to have on Snowpants for that activity
- Toby insists that mom needs to get the Sleds out
- Mom says fine, but we're not using them until Snowpants are donned.
- On the way to finding Sled, mini Snowshoes are found
- Toby wants to go Snowshoeing
- Toby decides he does not want to go Snowshoeing
- Mom resumes finding Sleds. Digs out two flying Saucers
- Toby insists that these are not Sleds
- Mom clarifies that we've never had an actual Sled, and that this is what we slide down hills on.
- Toby clarifies that he wants a Sled ride
- Mom realizes he is actually talking about his SLEIGH. Mood improves.
- Find child's Sleigh in attic.
- Drag Toby around the yard on Sleigh
- Great entertainment in the fact that the Sleigh is 'Scooting' the Snow out of the way
- Cats decide Sleigh is a point of interest.
- Toby resumes 'Shooing' attack on cats.
- Mom warns that cats find things like that Scary, and further warns of oncoming time-out
- Shooing and Screaming at cats continues.
- Mom leaves to sit on time-out Step
- Toby Screams
- Mom says that if we can't leave the cats alone or have a time-out then we go inSide
- Warning falls on deaf ears as Shooing resumes.
- Mom goes inSide
- Toby Screams
- Mom Shrugs
- Toby Sobs
- Mom removes Snow boots
- Toby insists he wants to Stay outSide
- Mom says that's fine, if we first Sit on the Step for two minutes and apologize to the cats for being
- Toby Screams
- Mom removes Scarf
- Toby Slams door
- Mom removes Soggy clothes from raging toddler
- Toby wants to Sleep
- Silly mom takes Suggestion Seriously
- End up Sitting and nursing in living room
- Mom's Stomach growls
- Toby Scowls
- Mom decides that empty Stomachs are what is causing the mood
- Mom heats up leftover Stir-fry and pasta, ignoring Screaming toddler at her ankles
- Everyone's mood improves after Stir-fry
- Movies and Snacks are had while mom Snoozes on couch
- After Snooze, Toby wants to go outside again
- Discussion is had about the 'Shooing' of cats
- Promises are made to not Shoo
- Reminders Still needed to be issued, but a more 'normal' outside experience is had
- Come in to make rice and tofu Stir-fry for dinner
- After dinner is made, Toby asks for Sushi
- Mom says no, then looks at Stir-fry, then thinks Sure why not
- Hot rice and tofu is Spread on last two remaining pieces of Seaweed
- Big Sigh of relief when bedtime arrives

3 = Number of years I've been flying by the seat of my pants
3 = The dawning of The Age of The Tester

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Top 25

Well thanks again guys for voting me into the top 25 Canadian mom blogs for Circle of Moms!

I suppose now I actually have to post some quality stuff lol.

Perhaps to honour the theme I'll post the top 25 reasons why living in Canada is awesome.
These are in no particular order, other than the order I thought of them in.

1. Seasons. I have a friend in the States who rubs it in my face that it's 'summer' there year-round. But then  you don't get the excitement of Spring, the true appreciation of Summer, the colours of Fall, or the magic of Winter.
2. Free health care. Yes, everyone says it, but I can't imagine receiving doctor's bills for things like routine checkups or child birth.
3. Endless travel and experiences without leaving the country. As the Molson Canadian ads put it "We have more square feet of awesomeness per person, than any other country on Earth."
4. The Molson Canadian ads
5. Our Niagara Falls is better.
6. Tim Horton's
7. 1 year  Maternity Leave is standard.
8. Hockey. I don't follow it, but you can't deny what it is.
9. Music. If you've ever watched the Junos and reacted with "What? THEY are Canadian??", then there you go. Micheal Buble anyone? Men Without Hats (Safety Dance)? Drake? Hedley? Three Days Grace? Barenaked Ladies? Yeah, those guys who wrote the theme song to hit American TV show Big Bang Theory, Canadian.
10. Quality children's television. Kids CBC and TVO Kids are, in my opinion, the best run and most educational children's TV sessions around. I haven't seen much from the States, but most of it is either in-your-face nauseating or horrifically 'cute'. Nothing will ever compare to Fred Penner or Mr. Dressup.
11. Ketchup chips.
12. We can make fun of ourselves. Not often is there a country that, when made fun of, laughs along with a "Yeah that's totally true, eh?"
13. Democracy. The freedom to choose and voice your opinion.
14. Nation-wide same-sex marriage legalization. 
15. The many things that Canadians have invented that are common place in the world today. Basketball, Goalie mask, Standard time zones, Insulin, green plastic garbage bag, peanut butter, and the electron microscope, to name a few.
16. Poutine.
17. We can say "I love Beavers" with a straight face.
18. Having worldwide acceptance as travelers. I thought it was a myth, but when I was in Italy I kept having people ask me if I had any Canadian Flag pins to give to friends or to wear to show their shop customers they like Canadians.
19. Canadian Actors. We may not have as many as other countries, but we cherish them and they are full of true talent.
20. Real. Maple. Syrup.
21. Don't care what the rest of the world says, The North Pole is in the Canadian Arctic. Santa is our homeboy.
22. Not having to write SATs.
23. Our beloved 'monopoly money'
24. Canadians are tougher. Colder winters, younger drinking ages, lax movie censorship ratings, legal marijuana. 
25. We have rocks... and trees.... and trees... and rocks. And rocks, and trees and trees and rocks and waterrrrrr. (Bonus points if you know who I'm quoting)

Ok bed time!! That took far too long!

Friday, November 11, 2011

New Snow

I wouldn't label myself as a 'Snow Person.'
I don't hate it enough to move to another country, but I also don't like being cold and wading through muddy slush in February.
I like a white Christmas, but after that I don't care for it much.
Although the last few years I've been forced to have a positive outlook on the winter weather so that Toby doesn't develop a pre-conceived notion that snow sucks.

And so this morning Toby's first reaction to seeing a white blanket on our grass was: "We can get our SNOW SHOVELS OUT!!"
You can't help but smile and get caught up int he enthusiasm.
He still in opposed to him snow pants, although by the end of last winter he was a pro star at letting me put them on. Today we wore slush pants and winter boots. Not looking forward to the snowpant battle, but it will be fine eventually.
We hurried outside and found the shovels and he immediately started flinging snow in every direction. 

Winter: The time of year when the whole world becomes a garden. Dig it up as you please.

 He kept running around like this with his eyes closed because the snow kept hitting him the eyes.

 And since you only get a few good days of packing snow before it gets too cold, we built a snow man.

It felt like Christmas today. I was all giddy and excited and wanted to just bake and wrap presents and drink hot chocolate. Then I realized that I should save some of that enthusiasm up for the long months ahead.
Good luck surviving the winter everyone!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Poop, and Other Jokes

Toby has come of the age where 'poop' is the funniest thing anyone can say, and the funniest punchline to any joke he tells.

He makes up words and phrases and changes the first letter of every word until they sound hilarious.

'Piffins and priffins' was one of the early ones. Dear knows what it means but when he was two he went through a phase where he would daily walk up to me and ask "Mom, did you know about the piffins and priffins?" And I would ask what he meant and he would cackle and run away.

Over the last couple months his funniest jokes were when he turned whatever I said into a negative.
"Toooooobyyyyy I love you"
"Yes I doooooooooooo and you love me tooooo"
"NO I DONT! DONT SAY THAT WORD!" *runs away laughing*

"Mmm this dinner sure is yummy!"
"NO! It ISN'T! It's poopy!" *proceeds to eat with gusto and a cheeky grin*

Lately now, when I say something to him he'll cock his head sideways as though he didn't hear me properly and ask if I said something completely nonsensical.
"Hey Toby, can you get the little scoop out of the drawer?"
"....Did you say 'scoop'? Or 'poop'?"
" I said SCOOP Toby, you heard me"

"I think I hear Opa mowing the grass"
"...Did you say 'mowing?' Or 'flowing'?
"Yes, he's flowing the grass........"

"We can go outside when we're done eating"
"....Did you say 'eating'? Or 'feeting'?"

This discovery of replacing consonants to make life WAY more hilarious has spilled into full scentences when I have no idea what he's saying.
"Pooing, plithing, pruding, pofu, parrot, pin the par"
...........Something about a tofu carrot in the car? Or parrot poop?....

Yet with all the poop jokes, he still gets terribly offended if I ask him if he needs a diaper change. He sometimes will sit on the toilet and go, but it's usually after my suggestion after reading his signs. Sometimes I'll ask if he needs to use the washroom and he says no through a strained red face. Other times I"ll just look over at him and he'll say 'NO DON'T LOOK AT ME'. I'm trying not to push it, we have time.

Trying to allow him to keep an open vocabulary with  me, versus what is acceptable to say in public or even around other people in the house is becoming a fine line to tread on. I don't want to snuff out the word 'poop' but I also don't need: "MOM? ARE YOU GOING POOP??" shouted across the house as I leave to go to the bathroom.

The little monkey will be 3 in two weeks. Pretty crazy. And the older he gets the more he understands. Although I doubt 'poop' will lose it's hilarity any time soon.


End note: Thanks to those who have voted for me in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Canadian Mom Blogs contest!! If you're not on facebook you might not have been following the progress. You can go to the link below and vote once a day until November 17th!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


I love Halloween. Most people know that. I don't love it in the sense of wanting to scare to poocicles out of young children... I"m not a fan of horror movies and don't care much for gore... But there's something about the stereotypical fairy tale witches and wizards, black cats and bats, and spiders and skeletons that I LOVE.
I love dressing up. I love being creative. I love Halloween baking. We implemented a Halloween Tree in our house for decorations because it's creepily fantastic without being scary.

I had long dreamed of dressing a baby in magnificently adorable Halloween costumes each year. I have costume patterns that I bought long before I was even pregnant. Fairies, Pirates, Scarecrows, Witches.... I had to stop myself from making them all before I even knew if I was having a girl or a boy.

And then I was blessed with a child who greatly dislikes clothing..

Halloween #1 wasn't too bad. He was almost a year old and crawling, and although the addition of a vest with a turtle shell sewn to it was a slight nuisance at first, it quickly was dismissed as outerwear and donned for a long period of time.

Halloween 2009

Halloween #2 was slightly more difficult. It was a struggle to get him to wear jeans instead of pajamas, but we made a big deal about his Farmer Vest being the coolest thing on the face of the planet and eventually he agreed.

Halloween 2010

This Halloween I knew I was in for a battle. All year he's been fighting the notion of wearing pants or anything that resembles a nice shirt. I have two or three pairs of pants that he's deemed comfortable enough to wear in public, but wont go near jeans or khakis with a ten foot pole.
This year his interest lay more with construction than farming. He has a yellow hard hat that he already wears everywhere, so i figured I'd make him an orange vest and he could be a construction dude.
Then he was introduced to Bob The Builder. The obsession escalated and I thought 'Perfect! Same general idea as mine, but now a more focused Halloween costume!!'
I pitched the idea to Toby and he seemed enthusiastic. We went to Value Village for overalls and an orange shirt. I made him a tool belt. We hyped it up for ages.
Except that whenever it was suggested he try on his costume, he politely declined. Once I got his arms in the shirt but when I tried to button it up he immediately burst into tears and tried to rip it off.
On Halloween day my mom convinced him to try on the overalls, but the shirt and tool belt were a no-go. He muttered and complained the whole time but mom got a picture for me as proof of a half-victory.

 Halloween 2011

We hadn't planned to go out Trick-or-Treating because the last year had been short lived. Late, dark, cold walks are not high on Toby's 'like' list.
I knew we were staying home to hand out our treat bags so I wasn't too hyper about getting him dressed up. I just wished he'd wear it.
He wore his skeleton pajamas (that he's been able to wear for three years now) and a hard hat.... We drove to visit a friend's house and stayed there for a while.... And that was about the extent of it.

I'm sure it's a phase. I"m sure he'll like dressing up some day. Or maybe he won't.
Some people say that after age three things get easier. Some people say they had 'terrible threes' and not 'twos'.
Maybe I should just take a page out of Toby's book and realize that it's not how you appear, but your attitude that counts.
Only 363 days until next Halloween!! :)