I've been working on my book.
Instead of sewing. Which is bad lol.
But I'm getting sucked into my little writer's bubble again.
I've written the end finally.
For the longest time I wasn't sure where I was heading with it but i've re read it twice and done a lot of thinking and I think I see the 'point' of it now.
So now the problem is, I spent a year not working on this and so there's a year of events that aren't fresh in my mind. For a long time I was writing in 'real time'. Up until Toby's first birthday. Then I made some notes of things that i needed to include but didnt know how to form the thoughts yet. And now I"m reading over my notes going... huh??
I feel like I have writer's block, but im not really short of things to write about. It's about my own life for goodness sakes, I can't run out of material.
Maybe I just have too much to say and I"m afraid that if i focus on one thought I"ll lose the others.
Maybe I just don't really know how to connect it all.
Im also afraid that in my determination to finish this book that I'll skim over parts that need more detail. I also don't want to be working on this for another three years.
And then i get discouraged because I kn ow getting things published is hard to do. But I dont know if I want to go as far as self-publishing... It feels like cheating I guess. I dunno.
I've had a change of emotional stature in the last month or so. Luke is at school finishing his apprenticeship and we havn't actually seen him in over a month and rarely spoken.
And I've been saying for quite a while that this is what I need. To just get away.
I've become numb to the whole thing, but not in a bad way.
I've decided I just don't care. I've decided I like not feeling anything towards the situation.
I like having my weekends back.
I like having Toby to myself.
....Although feeling numb doesn't make for very good writing lol.
And blogging about it doesnt help the fact that i need to be doing 'real' writing lol.
In other news: the snow is wet, the sky is grey, our house has lost most of the skunk smell but it's still lingering, maple syrup season is starting, I saw a red-winged black bird today... the poor dear looked terribly confused at the weather, More gift bags at Ecocentric, 'Sleep pillows' on the way there too, makin sushi tomorrow, clocks spring ahead sunday morning, going to Glee Live in TO June 11, making plans to go see a zillion plays in Stratford.