Not So Dirty

If your mind is as firmly planted in the gutter as mine has been known to be, then you've possibly come across the same phenomenon as I have.

There are many phrases that we use on a daily basis that, at one time, would have sent me into a raging fit of suppressed giggles, but am now forced to remain composed due to context.

Having kids changes everything.

And so, here is my list of 

Things That Sound Dirty That Really Aren't Anymore.

Animal in bed = ‘Monkey’ jumping on it.

I don’t think it will fit = Triangles don’t go in the square hole of the shape sorter

Too big for your mouth = Let’s cut food into smaller bits

I’m going to ride you = Asking for piggyback or talking to toy horse

Banging on the floor = Wielding a toy hammer

Get on your back = Time for diaper change

I”ve never seen one so big! = Commenting on a rock found in the driveway

I’m going to eat you = The tickle monster is hungry for elbows

Yay, you got it in the hole! = Celebratory phrase of improved hand/eye co-ordination

Nice balls = Commenting on the colour/pattern of plastic toys

Be gentle with the balls = Please don’t throw things in the house

I’m all wet = Spilled water… again

You’re so dirty = Time for a bath