Thursday, February 21, 2013

How to Trick Kids into Thinking You're Playing With Them, When Really You're Just Lazy.

How to Trick Kids into Thinking You're Playing With Them, When Really You're Just Lazy.

1. Over-Enthusiasm. 
"Mom let's have a race!"
"OK! Let's see how fast you can run to the end of the yard and back, and I'll time you, GO!!!"
*Cheer them on and repeat praises and starting lines as many times as you can until they either catch on or go do something else*

"Mom, let's build a HUUUUGE block tower"
"YEAH! Ok, show me how we should start!"
*Let them do the project on their own as long as you can stretch it. Maybe even dare to close your eyes for two minutes*

2. Self-Benefiting Logic.
"Mom, you have to STAND to throw the ball"
"Yeah but when I'm sitting I'm the same height as you, so it makes it easier to aim right?"

"Mom climb up as high as me!"
*Stand and reach to where they are*

3. Verbal Acknowledgement. 
Lots of "Wow!" and "MMhhM!" and "Oh No!" and "Amazing!", even if you're sleeping on the couch at the time.

"Mom, open your eyes!"
"Yep they are"

"Here mom, have some hippo soup"
"Om nom nom, yummy!"
*Eyes still closed, didn't move*

"Did you see that!"
"Sure did! Pretty awesome!"
*Eyes still closed, didn't move.*

4. Encouraging Independence.
 "Mom, can you get all the sand toys set up?"
"You know where they are! Can you find them? Then you can choose which ones you want."
*Grab a 30 second power nap*

"Mom, get out of bed, I"m hungry"
"You know where the apples are, you can go grab one. I'm coming"
*Cover head with blankets and hope that they'll intercept someone else in the house to divert attention from the fact that you haven't moved*


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  1. "Can YOU get the tractor??"
    "hmm i dunno..."
    *haphazardly throw out an arm in the general direction of the toy on the complete opposite side of the room*
    "..darn, my arm JUUUUUST isn't long enough. I might need someone to bring it a little closer..."

  2. My guys are a little older so they catch on, but sometimes I can pull off similar tactics.

    "Libby, come on! Let's play Lego!"
    "Ok, I'll be there in a minute. You guys get it set up."

    Or I use the bathroom as an excuse to take a breather. "Aja, you play my character for a minute while I'm in the washroom." *Take my sweet time peeing, washing and drying hands.*