Saturday, August 27, 2011


I'm not sure whether Toby is going through a phase or if food is the culprit yet again, but he's done almost nothing but scream demands at me for the last two weeks.
Usually when I find his moodiness unbearable, after 4 days it's done. I keep notes on a calendar, and it's usually 4 days. I've been able to tell myself a few times "just wait 4 days" and then things are more or less normal again.
I've also been trying to slowly introduce dairy and gluten into his diet and have been met with complete mood swings the day after. But not always. And the mood swings happen when we're not eating that stuff too. So it's hard to tell if it's coincidence or if it's truly food related.
I've been eating a lot of dairy this summer, which I shouldn't be, but things have been ok. I give Toby the odd piece of cheese which he usually rejects cause of the taste, but he's eaten goat feta all summer and I recently started putting goat mozzarella with his lunches.
We are now not eating any of that.
Though the moodiness continues.

I think part of the problem is he's trying to stop napping, and I need him to nap.
I think also he's trying to wean himself from nursing, but doesn't know how else to deal with his rage.

Today went something like this....

7:30am: Wake up. Wake mom up. Demand to nurse. Mom groans. Demand louder. Mom says just a minute. Demand louder and burst into tears. Mom gets annoyed at being woken up be screaming and says that she didn't say no, she said just a minute so please just relax. Declare loudly that he doesn't want to relax. Mom says to get up then. Insist on nursing. Nurse. Go back to sleep.

8:15am: Wake up and ask if Grampa is home. Mom says probably not. Hear someone in the bathroom. Mom says it's Shannon. Demand that mom get up. Mom says just a minute. Demand to nurse. Mom says I thought we were getting up. Insist that no, we're staying in bed to nurse. Nurse. Mom says she needs to pee. Scream that she does not have to and that we're staying in bed. Mom gets up anyway. Scream.

9am: Playing very nicely downstairs. Steal some of mom's breakfast after insisting that he doesn't want any of his own.

9:30am: Hear Grama upstairs. Grama comes to say hi. Grama has bath. Watch 'Really Wild Animal's' video.

10:15am: Shannon plays Duplo with Toby while mom and Grama talk about the flooring samples for the bathroom Grama brought home.

10:45am: Grama asks if Toby would like to come in the car to return the flooring samples, and we can go to the Farmer's Market too. Run to find mom. Mom suggests pants. Insist that no, we don't nee pants because we're staying here... with Grama and Shannon. Mom says that no, Grama has to go to town anyway, just we could go with her. Insist no. Grama get's ready to leave. Insist that we now go.

11am: Drive to Orillia.

11:20am: walk Farmers Market.

12pm: Go to flooring store.

12:15pm: Go to paint store

12:30pm: Ask to go out for lunch. Grama needs to get home, so no, but we can get drive through french fries.

12:40pm: Insist fries are too  hot and doesn't want them. Mom eats them. Screams. Lull, and asks nicely for more fries. Mom hands some over.

1pm: Home. Insist that we go back to a playground. Mom remembers that this request was made three days ago, so sure, why not.

1:15pm: In Sugarbush at playground. Really hot in the sun and forgot sunscreen. Mom doesn't want to stay long and wants to try to have a nap today.

1:40pm: Go home. March inside, even after insisting that outside play was in order. Play inside.

2pm: Go upstairs to find Grama and Aunt Shannon watching funeral coverage for Jack Layton. Loudly state arrival. Get told to speak quieter so people can listen. Get grumpy. Find a jar of hooks that Grama was using. Amused by them.

2:30pm Mom suggests that maybe we could try a nap now. Readily agree, much to everyone's surprise.

2:35pm: In bed, nursing. Flailing. Humming. Kicking. Mom says to stop nursing if there' no sleeping. Wants to get up. Mom says to get up, but she's having a nap. Doesn't like that idea, keeps nursing.

3pm: Keeps humming. Keeps flailing. Keeps kicking. Mom says to stop nursing until ready for sleep. Get up. Mom stays in bed.

3:15pm: Come back ans curls up beside mom to nurse. Continue being goofy. Mom says she's not nursing if there' no sleeping.

3:30pm: Get up. Mom stays in bed.

3:40 pm: Go next door with Grama and Shannon to set VCR to tape Doctor Who tonight.

4pm: Mom gets up.

4:15pm: Mom finds Toby outside with Aunt Shannon on the swing. Grama and Grampa leave to visit people.

4:30pm: Pick veggies from the garden.

4:45pm: Inside. Watch Fraggle Rock. Mom starts dinner.

5:30pm: Eat dinner.

6pm: Ask to finish watching Fraggle Rock. Mom agrees cause she needs to clean up and have a rest. Change mind, insist we go outside. Mom disagrees. Go outside anyway. Mom stays in to send an email.

6:10pm: Phone rings. Insist mom answer it. Mom says the machine will get it. Scream that mom answer the phone. Machine gets it, mom says to not worry about it. Scream that mom come outside. Mom says just a second. Scream louder. Mom freaks out. Comes outside. Sits on step. Tell mom to get off step cause that's where the truck drives. Mom gets up. Bee zooms by. Freak out. Mom says to relax. Freak out more. Mom suggest to go inside then. Freak out more. Mom goes inside.

6:20pm: Scream and cry on mom's shoulder. Mom says that this is why we have naps, so that noone is grumpy at the end of the day. Say that a nap would be good now. Mom says no, it's not bed time, there was a chance earlier to sleep. Freak out.

6:25pm: Ask to be carried up stairs. Mom carries upstairs. Freak out and say NO he wanted to walk up stairs alone. Mom carries back down the stairs. Freak out and say YES want to be picked up. Mom says it hurts her shoulder too much. Scream. Mom drags upstairs. Screams. Mom puts in bed. Insist that getting up is REALLY what he wants. Mom says fine. Scream that mom come to bed and nurse. Mom says she doesn't really want to, but maybe if asked nicely she would. Scream and demand that mom go to bed NOW. Mom says she had a nap already so no, Doesn't want to go to bed, but Toby is more than welcome to, and that's ok. Scream. Mom leaves.

6:35pm: Mom sitting in living room ignoring demands that she get up and go to bed. Mom says that when  the words are calmer and kinder she might consider it. Offer to nurse on couch for a moment. Scream that he doesn't want to nurse. Mom says ok. Mom screamed at to not say anything anymore. Mom stares out window saying nothing. Start hitting mom to make her get up. Mom gets up and barricades herself in bathroom.

6:45pm: Mom sitting against door on bathroom floor while Toby screams and punches the door from the other side. Demands that door be opened. Mom very quietly states that she's waiting for the screaming to stop. Declare loudly that he want's to be a grumpy Toby and that mom come out. Mom says it's ok to be grumpy but please dont yell or hit people who want to help. Scream louder. Start gagging and coughing. Sob louder. Demand mom open the door and go to bed. Mom says she's waiting for the yelling to stop. Yelling stops slightly and a request for a new shirt in made, cause this one is wet. Mom opens doors. Immediately start screaming that mom go to bed right now. Mom closes doors again.

6:55pm: Mom declares a time out, which has never happened before. Toby is dragged to room, and doors closed with the understanding that if mom is wanted in bed then asking instead of demanding is preferred. Mom holds door closed on the other side. Scream sobbing ensues. Tells mom to come back. Mom quetly states that she never left, but would prefer to open the door once things are calm and maybe a sorry is shared. No sorry but crying slowly stops. Mom realizes it's because the poster on the back of the door has been ripped down. Finally a please is asked. Doors open. Scream. Hit. Doors close.

7pm: Mom finally permitted access to room and tries to fix poster. Demand that mom get into bed. Mom says that once he's in bed and asking for me to join, then I will. Scream sobbing. Mom sits at end of bed and asks what we should do. Insist that mom get into bed. Mom gets into bed. Ask to nurse. Mom says that maybe he should get in bed too. Quietly say that no, wants to get up. Mom says she's not playing this game again. Finally crawls in bed. Insists on getting up. Mom says go ahead. Chose to stay in bed and nurse.

7:05pm: Say that he doesn't want to nurse. Mom says that's just fine. Cries and wants to nurse again. Doesn't close eyes. Mom says that since he's chosen to go to bed, he has to sleep.

7:20pm: Asleep.

7:30pm: Mom pours large glass of juice and rum.

7:45pm: Buzzed-blogging commences.

Is this a phase? Does anyone else have high-anxiety kids? How do I get him to sleep? How do I get him to just calm down and read with me? He used to love that. Now he hardly ever wants me to read to him or play music in the house. He's so focused on his trucks that I can't even play with him, cause I do it all wrong. But when I go do my own thing he comes after me and wants me to be with him. I feel neglectful, but he doesn't want to do anything with me.
I need the two hours in the middle of the day to just recuperate. Even though I try for 'rest time' instead of really making him sleep, I find that I just get tired, and he just gets more rambunctious. And then by the end of the day if no one else is around the both of us just melt down, but when he goes to bed too early then he wakes up really early and I'm a mess for the day, and need nap time even more.

Is it a phase? Is is a personality trait? Is it food? Is it me? It's been two weeks on off and on screaming fits surrounding bed-time and teeth brushing...
Blah.... going to bed... cause I need the sleep..

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